Wrecked for God

The Divine Conquest by A.W. Tozer

My review

rating: 4 of 5 stars

"Are you sure you want to be filled with a Spirit who, though He is like Jesus in His gentleness and love, will nevertheless demand to be Lord of your life? Are you willing to let your personality be taken over by another, even if that other by the Spirit of God Himself? If the Spirit takes charge of your life He will expect unquestioning obedience in everything. He ill not tolerate in you the self-sins even though they are permitted and excused by most Christians. By the self-sins I mean self-love, self-pity, self-seeking, self-confidence, self-righteousness, self-aggrandizement, self-defense. You will find the spirit to be in sharp opposition to the easy ways of the wold and of the mixed multitude within the precincts of religion. He will be jealous over you for good. He will not allow you to boast or swagger or show off. He will take the direction of your life away from you. He will reserve the right to test you, to discipline you, to chasten you for your soul's sake. He may strip you of many of those borderline pleasures which other Christians enjoy but which are to you a source of refined evil..." (123).

Being so immersed in the world of espresso, I have been wrecked to inferior coffee. At times I ironically proclaim, usually to Elaine, that my coffee snobbery is my burden to bear. That is the way it is with the Spirit, says Tozer, He wrecks us. We no longer are satisfied with the "borderline pleasures," but long for something deeper and more real. The good and pleasurable Folgers or Maxwell House becomes "refined evil."

"Through it all He will enfold you in a love so vast, so mighty, so all-embracing, so wondrous that your very losses will seem like gains and your small pains like pleasures. Yet the flesh will whimper under His yoke and cry out against it as a burden too great to bear. And you will be permitted to enjoy the solemn privilege of suffering to 'fill up that which is behind of the afflictions of Christ' in your flesh for His body's sake, which is the Church. Now, with the conditions before you, do you still want to be filled with the Holy Spirit?" (124).

Reading this my mind again wandered to a hot straight shot of espresso. Those of us who drink it, know that we don't do it for the fun of it. It is not a soft drink. No it is hard and rumbly. Its ultimate pleasure is through the suffering.

Dear God, wreck me for you. Bring me along the way of the cross!


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Biking from one town to another

Today I got in my head to ride my bike. We've been biking a lot as a family lately, but I wanted to go it alone and see how far I could get. I checked the tires and topped them off, the back one has been feeling a little squishy lately. Then, I shouldered the messenger bag, stuck my headphones in, started the Speaking of Faith podcast put on my helmet and struck out on my way.

I must have looked like a cross between a geezer and a geek. This year I am riding a Huffy Cranbrook, a throw back to bygone classics. I was wearing some hip plaid shorts, but with the blue socks Elaine found (the only pair around). This year I have also been wearing a helmet to be a good example for the kids. I am afraid it is not flattering. The overall impression must have been pretty laughable, which probably accounts for the guy on the motor cycle revving past me in mockery!

I stopped at the church, about half way between Sebewaing and Unionville. I drank a water, still listening to the podcast. Krista was interviewing Jon Kabat-Zinn about meditation. It was a welcome reminder as I slowly made my way past growing fields, trees, houses, being mindful of my own breath and the growing sense of power in my legs.

That power reminded me of scrambling up the Sierra Madre foothills at Mater Dolorosa. For a guy who is constitutionally opposed to work and excersize, these glimpses into how good it feels is remarkable and spiritual.