Change of mind and direction

All flows from the fullness of the heart. A heart that is right with God is like a pair of parallel tracks that the train of God’s power can run across. Except as a conduit I am helpless, and useless. Humbling. Therefore the single most important task of a believer is to “seek first the kingdom of God.” It is by the grace of God that the believer is changed and the world around him is changed.

In order to minister to the needs of the humble flock in my care, I must make their needs my own and allow the response of Christ to fill my heart. Then not in excellency of words, or programs, but by the Spirit working heart by heart, he will minister through me. This informal ministry is a flow from the heart, an integrated lifestyle of ministry flowing from an integrated lifestyle of devotion.

God has been leading me to a greater, less formal, fully integrated life with him. No area of my life can remain untouched by the Spiritual Disciplines, or by his presence. Devotions cannot be relegated to an hour of this or that; rather they are delighted in at every step of the day. The time I do set aside is as a consistent informal “hanging out” with God.

Today again I found solitude and access to God at Blue Monday. For the first time in many weeks, some one struck up a conversation with me. Paul is 30, has a B.A. in philosophy from Carleton, repairs electron microscopes, volunteers as a Big Brother, enjoys a hobby of counseling. And he seeks truth. He doesn’t feel it is possible to see much of it though. For a few hours we talked of what stirs us, society and spirituality. A young lady jumped in at one point moved by our conversation of God. To Paul, a pastor’s greatest responsibility is to be a seeker of truth. Truth that will end through tradition and doubt will end in faith – true faith. As an agnostic he was more of a universalist. I encouraged him to continue seeking and I am confident he will find the Truth. “I am the way the truth and the life.”

Pride vs. Humility Matt 18:10

Pride cannot positively impact the lives of the humble. Jesus tells us the kingdom of heaven is made up of children, and unless we humble ourselves to be like children we cannot be a part of that kingdom.

I cannot impact the life of a child and be proud. In order to reach a humble child, I must also become humble. Pride will never allow me to care about the children. Pride must die to lead the humble.

Teaching at their level or leading is not a matter of being cute or condescending but lowering myself to consider my spiritual needs equal with theirs. For this is right. I can only truly challenge them if I believe that which challenges them is not so far below me that I too am not challenged.

Lord teach me humility, so I may be a part of your kingdom and lead others to the humility of belonging to the king.

Worship is all about Jesus. In worship none of the focus is on me. My reasonable act of worship – self sacrifice has been clouded by fear. Oh eyes, get off self and on your savior and joy! In him, there is total freedom from what binds. He is love and in him there is no fear. In a very real way, your victory is sure and the deed is done. Eyes, when you focus on the object of your worship, your act of worship ceases to be a chore and naturally happens.

Just as victory is in him, so is the destination. Obedience is difficult when I don’t feel led, but once again, eyes, look to Jesus. Even when you don’t see Him, he is there leading faithfully. Learn to hear, feel and taste him when you can’t see him. In absence of the step by step, trust and take one step at a time. Focus on now, on where to plant the foot, most of all focus on him, whom you worship with sensual concentration.

Spiritual resolve

God carefully leads to the place where he draws a line in the sand and dares me to cross it. One side of the line is all that I am, the other side is all he can do through me. Crossing that line means certain death, but the path God has taken me down for five years culminates at this point. The light rays are focused and a laser of resolve flows from the Spirit as he beacons. On the other side of the line stands tower achievements and glories god will do through me. This destiny is no unusual destination, as he desires to lead each of his believers to this point. Is this an end to the journey? It is a beginning – perhaps the end of the beginning. God has led to a place where he can call for a commitment that would have folded in laughter had he not taken the time to build a strong foundation. With the resolve to die, the adventure commences.

Lord make these budding principles more and more clear, even painfully. Give me the kind of resolve you desire.

As a pastors kid, the question of a home town has long baffled me, but the last several years, I have been able to call the city of Faribault home. Although throughout my high school years I lived in Northfield, then minutes away, and fit its culture of coffee, colleges, and contentment. It is the church family that has made Faribault home. So much so that I am the children’s pastor there and plan to make its beauty a lasting home. {scoff!}

The choice of abandon

I am caught somewhere between who I am meant to be, and who I might become. All this rests on choice. God has an imaginative and bold vision for us to bring glory to him and I skirt around the edge of it, afraid to step into the light.

Either I can become the man of power and destiny that Jesus was, or my apprehension and appetite for sin will pull me to the watery grave. I am comfortable in this haze. Even though it is frustration being pulled in two directions, it is safe. But ultimately in that place I cannot stay. So then, there is the choice of abandonment. I must choose now to recklessly abandon my cherished self, throwing all to the wind and meet destiny in almighty. OR if not then I must be resolved to the path of sin and death. The choice is painfully obvious, and painfully accepted.

Wake up o sleeper
Rise from the dead
And the light of Christ will shine on you.

Lord, give me strength as I loose myself.

The question of initiative

“Wake up and…” The light of Christ is shining; can I see it through thick eyelids? He wants little more than to pour his light into my life. He desires to set me ablaze. “You are the light of the earth” With his light all unholy things are exposed first in my life then in others trough the contrast with him blazing through my life! “What maters is our relationship and the atmosphere it produces.” Are my surroundings lit a wash by the blaze of his life in me?

I was once in darkness, can I lay a hold of the light? It is up to me to open my eyes – to realize the truth of Christ’s light. At that point the light blazes new life into my soul. The light of Christ does more than enlighten it brings life and defeats sloth.

Lord I choose to stare into the thousand suns that is your face! Expose me and bring life where once was sloth and death, until I am at home in your light.

Wake up!

“Live as children of light.” Paul calls the Ephesian Christians to put off the old and put on the new…. “Find out what pleases the Lord.” The ease of living an illuminated life escapes us. Darkness so attracts me that I get lost and my heart too begins to loose sensitivity. There is old in my life that I refuse to take off because in my dreary stupor I do not want it.

Wake up! Open your eyes and rise from the dead! If I can heed this warning, the light of Christ will blaze through leaves and drawn curtains and pry my heavy eyes from their pillow. The light exposes evil. It drives holy action to find God and ask him how his loving child may please him.

Lord, wake me up. Blaze a path to every misdeed and deal with them one by one. My eyes sparkle with a twinkle of your light. May they bring you pleasure.

Spiritual coffee

Loneliness

Loneliness exposes my self-pity. Alone, so it seems, unaware of the love of any and blinded by pity to the love and presence of God, selfishness is visible. When we see it, we readily justify its presence. It seems to us that if no one else will have pity on us, we must pity ourselves.

What we are when we are alone with God is the inmost character. Is God using loneliness to shape me now? How am I taking it? Alone as it seems, we are in the presence of God. Do I take full advantage of this divine audience? No. And so what if I cannot hear him speak? Shall I pity myself that even God won’t talk to me? It is my pity after all that refuses God’s voice and deafens my ear. First I must give up my right to pity and allow myself to die once more. Then I will find myself truly alone.

Lord, thank you for loneliness. Thank you for teaching me through its pain. Continue to cut and prune as your remove pity and kill self so that you can live in me!

“But the fruit of the Spirit are love… self discipline…”

Pride sets self toe to toe with God and rings the bell to start the match. “It is difficult to kick against the goads.” I let out cries of frustration. I am black and blue but pride won’t take the fall.

The Spirit filled life shows the fruit of the Spirit. The fruit (love and self discipline) put others ahead of me. I need to be filled afresh. Yes, Lord, still, how? All I have are rags and bruises—the filth of self that pride has sheltered. When I see what I have God says come and buy gold refined in the fire and pure white robes.

Lord, take my rags and filth and fill me with love and self-discipline. Hands in the air, I’m tired of fighting you. I surrender. Only you can put into my heart what isn’t there.

I fear visitation and am defensive when corrected. My pride is visible. Lord I hurt. I trust it is your scalpel.

Abandonment amidst drudgeries

"I was not disobedient to the vision" Acts 26:19

Reckless abandonment speaks not to an emotional response to God's greatness, it speaks to the willful act of neglecting our own desires for His. Am I waiting for excitement to take God at this word? If he said it, he will do it. Do I live in that knowlege? Then I must be recklessly abandoned to it.

Amidst the drudgeries, God's desires and dreams are lost to our own bordom. Even still is he with us. The unchanging God is still powerful enough to realize his word in my drudgeries. Do I refuse his promise by denying that he is truly there working his adventure in my life?

Lord, alow me to see and lay hold the measure of faith you have given, that I may realize the intangible in my drudgeries. Let my goals and potential daily be guided by your ever present hand and not destracted by my ever illusive emotion.

The cleaning of the mind

Romans 12:2, John 15:3

"You are clean because of my words...."

Are my thoughts coming between me and my master's voice? Then I need to be in his word. IN order to test and prove God's perfect will, I need a renewed mind.

"If my words abide in you..." There is no room for sin scars on a mind where the healing words of God dwell. The only way for God to be glorified in our lives is to have a clean, word-washed mind. THen and only then will we be able to hear or see enough for God to bring himself glory through his answer to prayer.

In the midst of crushing failure, and seductive thougths and immaginations, I must remember the power of saving words.

Lord teach me to abandon myself on the coals of the altar. Remove from me the dross and cleanse my mind by your word.

The door to fruitfulness Rom 12:1-2, Gen 22:1-19

Again I find myself coming to the question: how do I hear God's voice? (see 1-31-98)
When God called, Abraham quickly replied "heneneh!" Behold here am I! The scriptures are filled with men an dwomen who talk with God. "I no longer call you servents... I call you friends, for everything I learned from my father I have made known to you." The key to hearing is obedience in its truest and most extreme sense. Abraham was obedient. His obedience led him to trust God enough to sacrifice his son.

Paul also heard the voice of God. He urged the Romans to offer themselves as living sacrifices so thaty could test... so they could hear... God's perfect will.

Have I thrown my whole self on the altar of sacrifice today? What is speaking loud enough in my day today, to drown out the still whisper of God? What must die?

"And my words remain in you...." Vision rests on hearin gfrom God ourselves. The doorway to fruitfullness is holding God to his word revealed to us on a personal basis. Hearing that word comes through an altar of self-sacrifice.

Lord send Holy Fire to this wet altar. Consume the unfit sacrifice of all my dreams, desires, imaginations drugeries and all that I am, and replace the ashes with your words of promise and destiny.

The key to fruitfulness - John 15:16

"I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain."

Oh to bear fruit. The excitement lies in seeing results. God finds goy and excitement in fruitful lives. He calls me to allow his joy to abide in me and make my joy full in bearing fruit. How am I doing? Love is his command and the fruit that can remain from my life. How many times has my selfless love shown me a perfect model of his love, allowing me to undertand? He calls me to take those moments and make a lifestyle out of it. This can only happen in a twisted and mangeled heart like mine as I alow his word, his presnce, his love an dhis lifestyle to be my home. I am his workmanship. He is the gardner pouring over my life. As he pulls and prunes, through the pain, I find his heart my living room.

Lord, make me the branch your artistic eye sees. Help me to know and be filled with your love. As I learn to abide, bring forth lasting fruit in my life, that we may rejoice together.

Relentless pursuit of what is best

There are times in every life when you come face to face with destiny. The last few weeks I have had experiences that put me face to face with destiny. Each experience is a point of change, but only if those points are followed with reckless abandonment will a changed life result.

The same thoughts with which I begin this dialog are the ones with which I began last night's sermon. And again Monday.... She revisits me not with sin this time but good. By the standard of most of my life that would be a joyous statement. But I have looked into the eyes of my destiny. Today I desire to know that man behind those eyes. I desire to see the same person realized in every fiber of my being. Good must take it's place. It must make room in me for best. "He is the radience of God's Glory and the exact representation of his being."

Lord, I need your streingth to continually abandon myself to your best. It can be a difficult choice to give up what is good and pleasing in my eyes for what is best in yours, but I want more than good. I want to look in the mirror and see my Father's eyes.

Resolutions
less tv
listen more

The Excited Christian Life

I thought it was hopeless. As I prayed one night, I felt discouraged, that I may never be an anointed excited, sold-out man of God, that I so admire. On top of that it was hopeless for our church to be full of that kind of person.

A moment of truth came when I was face to face with such and individual. Michelle's cousin was a college and career and shared how she witnessed to a man on a train. She had passion in her eyes. Face to face with destiny the Holy Spirit speaks. He made it abundantly clear that that was who I am to be. An excited Christian abandoned recklessly to the life of Christ. I swan dive even now into the river of his will from the cliff of my apprehension.

Lord, Fill me with your love, wisdom and fear. Lead me and teach me how to live a Spirit-filled exciting and adventuresome life, bringing glory to you. Let your spirit flow through me unencumbered as I am privileged to repeat your words to your people.
Thank you for your sacrifice and accepting me changing, guiding me. Thank you for your vision and dreams. Foible them in me and make it contagious.

This journal comes upon realization that I haven’t doen this for a long time. I’ve done some story writing but I need a more consistant devotional outlet. This journal is commenced this Friday, July 9^th, 1999.

Chris Hooton, Author

Major Items of Background:

• Jon married and moved.
• Clint is new youth pastor with 10% vision
• God has put a call to disciple on my life bringing full circle the search for who I am in Christ.

Who am I?

• A conquerer

• A discipler

• An intence Christian abandoned to his will (already but not yet)