Quijote Ella alla tinfoil

Happy penultimate day!

Happy antepenultimate day!

Annie and Ella are showing off their "What a Hooton" shirts. What a bunch of Hootons we are, getting to gether has been a blast.

Travel update

I wonder if Mary and Joseph had a night like this… Christmas day for us has been ups and downs. We had a nice intimate service with thirteen people this morning. We took off right after service to make the trek to my parent’s house. We picked up a new van we were given in Grand Rapids and continued on our way. We were making good time too. That is until about 11:00 tonight. Foster threw up. And my word the fight that ensued between his exhausted parents while the poor little man recovered. I cleaned up the mess and got back on the road in time for him to throw up again. We pulled off in Wisconsin Dells and cleaned up again. Coming out of the gas station with some Pedialyte, I discovered we picked up a nail and we had a flat tire. After struggling for a long while trying to get the spare down, we gave in and got a hotel room where I sit now typing. Blessings, disappointments, more blessing. We have room in the inn. And a good night a head. Praise God.

Initial Physical evidence

The biggest concept I have been wrestling with tonight has to do with the evidence of the baptism in the spirit. I’m not concerned presently with whether tongues is the initial physical evidence, but with what that means and should mean in our lives.

My quandary is this: if the Pentecostal revival of the past century was to mark a particular closeness to the return of Christ, and so some extra power was available to evangelize the world as we said when the A/G formed…

And if we accept that saints of old were not filled with the Spirit by lack of that evidence…

And if I am filled with the Spirit, as I have spoken with tongues,

Then why is my life marked with significantly less power than heroes of the faith, capable theologians, preachers, and reformers who were not filled?

Does the Spirit connect to the hearts of people in my congregation more than he does in the congregations of my dear brothers in other denominations?

What can I say about this doctrine which I hold dear and have experienced, since I like most practicing Pentecostals don’t seem to find use for my Spirit-filled giftings to build up the body?

Perhaps being filled with the Spirit, like sanctification, is a process. It isn't enough to have a single experience but like the mystics of old, we must practice the gifts until they work out a greater power in the body than we have seen in practice these days.

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is an ancient tradition.  In England it was “Harvest Home,” the harvest festival that the pilgrims celebrated with their native friends.  It is tragic that the relationship forged in the first hard years of Plymouth colony wouldn’t last as spiritual pilgrims gave way to colonists of political and consumerist aspirations.  Harvest Home shares its roots with festivals common in cultures celebrating harvest and bounty.  

Ancient Israel had its harvest festival as well; the feast of Tabernacles celebrated the harvest, and God’s provision in the wilderness.  It also carried with it an apocalyptic expectation of the coming messiah.

Ray Orth preached last night at our Thanksgiving Eve service.  He asked the question “Where does thanks begin?”  Ultimately his answer was “at the foot of the cross.”  It begins with the gift and the giver.

An important expression of thanks is as we partake in the gift.  The image of sitting around the table and feasting on the fruit of the harvest should not be a picture of consumerist gluttony, but of a spiritual partaking in the gift, accepting it with thanks and celebrating.

LookSmart's Furl - View Item - Sacred Idolatry

LookSmart's Furl - View Item - Sacred Idolatry I found this story from The Ooze interesting.

Why so long a dry spell...

I got my second rejection letter a couple weeks ago. I sent my article Relational Ministry to Family Ministry. I promptly got my triplicate manuscript back in pristine condition. Not a red pen, not a drop of coffee, not a smudge of cheeto. They say that it doesn’t fit their journal.

I found myself loath to write since. Am I a writer? or do I fool myself? At least I can claim “laziness” more than Bill at the coffee shop. He smells like a nihilist with coke bottle glasses and grand thoughts of himself. He rarely buys a small coffee and always chats up the pretty young girls with his idea for the greatest American novel.
At least my words actually make it to print, and don’t simply fall out from my mouth like so much drool. I resist this feeling of inadequacy. So what if my articles aren’t published in print? They are published here, and here they shall remain until I can rework them into something better. My plan of action: couch the articles in narrative; conduct more case studies to provide characters for my story.

Steven Paul Magstadt

Just checking to see if my traffic increases.

The load I carry on the way

The Interior Castle reflection

Physical and mental activities in a week: What can I reduce to give more time to the Disciplines?

• Sermon preparation
• Filing
• Writing
• Sleeping
• Watching tv
• Cleaning
• Watching the children
• Answering the many demands of a three and one year old
• Painting
• Working at the coffee shop
• Driving
• Being anxious
• Being depressed

You scored as Emergent/Postmodern. You are Emergent/Postmodern in your theology. You feel alienated from older forms of church, you don't think they connect to modern culture very well. No one knows the whole truth about God, and we have much to learn from each other, and so learning takes place in dialogue. Evangelism should take place in relationships rather than through crusades and altar-calls. People are interested in spirituality and want to ask questions, so the church should help them to do this. Emergent/Postmodern 93% Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan 86% Reformed Evangelical 71% Roman Catholic 61% Neo orthodox 61% Charismatic/Pentecostal 54% Fundamentalist 50% Classical Liberal 50% Modern Liberal 36% What's your theological worldview? created with QuizFarm.com

I'm surprised that the pentecostal/charismatic is so low and the holiness strain is so high. But the top line is righ on!

A little bit

We gave a dollar to Katrina Relief at the grocery store today. I almost laugh at how small a gift it was, yet it was the first time we supported relief monetarily. It has been a very difficult week financially, living on tips, gifts and fumes in the tank. Still we are blessed beyond all measure. Somehow I need to respond to the blessings we have recieved. I will pop over to the A/G website and set up a donation right now.

See more progress on: Help victims of Hurricane Katrina

So far

We held a special community service Sunday Evening. We thougth the 9/11 rememberance would be a poingiant context to talk about trageties. Of course we focused mainly on the Hurricane, but our thoughts and prayers also went to those trampled on the bridge in Bahgdad.

The crowd was small, but we did collect $384. We have put that into our local fund for helping people with emergencies, with the full expectation that there will be opportunity in the near future to help people affected by the hurricane locally.

Other than planning and participating in that service with the other area pastors, I still haven’t decided how I would directly help those affected. We’ve thought about donating a vehicle, though at the moment being physically involved in some way seems most appealing.

I reaffirmed my commitment to helping by signing The Katrina Pledge

1. I pledge to be personally involved in helping those whose lives have been affected by this natural disaster – by praying for the victims and their families and by offering my time, talents, and resources to relief and recovery ministries that are meeting their needs.

2. I pledge to work for sweeping change of our nation’s priorities. I will press my elected representatives to protect the common good – especially the needs of our poorest families and children – rather than supporting the twin social disasters of tax cuts for the rich and budget cuts that hurt the poor.

See more progress on: Help victims of Hurricane Katrina

Praying today

at the coffee shop today I prayed Lauds and The office of reading. I have found it refreshing and remarkably easy to keep up with. Its nice having it on my pda with avantgo and universalis.

See more progress on: Pray the hours

trying to help

I’ve emailed our local redcross chapter to see about helping to provide housing. We are pretty stressed finacially in this area, but our local ministerial group talked last week about how we wanted to do something practical to help. I haven’t heard back from the redcross, but I have forwarded the number to the help line to the group since I couldn’t be at the meeting this morning.

We are having a joint evening service on 9/11 and will probably take up an offering for hurcaine aid.

See more progress on: Help victims of Hurricane Katrina

Compline

I watched Born Without a Face last night. Like other TLC stories, this one touched my emotions. I felt love for Juliana through her parents.  It was like she was Ella and I was hugging and kissing her before a surgery.  I think there is something sacramental about putting yourself in the place of another.  Perhaps that is why I like acting.  After watching the show I had to give the kids an ardent good night kiss and hug them, though they were asleep already.  

I also felt I had to pray.  The emotions and images wouldn’t leave me alone.  I got on universalis and prayed compline.   Ray Orth sent me an email asking me how the hours were going, and I had to admit since my Lent book ran out, I haven’t tried much.  This Sunday night, last night and now twice today universalis has been a joy and succor to my soul. I’ve missed praying the psalms.    

Consecration

The Christian's Secret of a Happy Life, Nelson Royal Classics By Hannah Whitall Smith

Often I have held on to the "Not-yet" part of my salavation. It reminds me that there is still a world of discipleship yet to be experienced. Reading this book focuses me on the already of salvation - that I have consecrated myself, given myself as an offering to him. What is given to him is recieved and made holy because he who recieves it is holy. Resting in this fact means not questioning the truth of my consecration even when I fail. Does my sin mean that I am not God's? No. Only that I stand in need of Grace yet, and rest in the knowlege and belief that God gives grace.

It is refreshing to think of sanctification in terms, not of doing, but of resting and trusting. Thank you my Father and King for recieving my offering of my body.

Mourning the loss of a friend

this is not a drill: "there is no rhyme or reason to it. i feel so lost. so useless. there is nothing that can be done to change what happened. nothing that will ever console the hearts of my friends."

Naseem came into the coffee shop Saturday morning. I thougth she looked like she had lost her best friend. It was her best friend's little brother. As she told me how he had been hit by a car while riding his bike, what his life had meant to her and how hopless it all seemed, I suffered along with her. I had the privlage experience the best in being a pastor and a barista... being a listener. God, be with Naseem and those who suffer at Captian's death.

On the loss of a friend

Here I stand mourning the death of Don Quixote of la Mancha. His madness in committing himself to his profession gave me strength to commit myself to mine. Now I bid farewell to Alonso Quixano the sane. Thank you for the joy and sweetness your delightful madness has brought me. May my own peculiar madness be as sweet to me, and sanity find me praising God!

"He could sell that cookie" A comment at the coffee shop about how Foster could be a model.

Monster Cord

Finally my monster dog computer has a cord as mean looking as it is.

I used plumbing fittings to create a locking mechanism for the cord to eliminate shorts. For some reason the nipple doesnt quite fit the compression nut on the computer, so I wraped it with a little electrical tape.

This is what it looks like on the inside. I used a spring to connect the outside parts of the coaxile, to give it some flexability. The inside connection is a wire pushed into the center. It alows for some torque with out shorting. This with the locking mechanism will hopefully eliminate the troublesome charging problems common to laptops. Now I need to replace my shot battery.

Amy, Meghan, Katelyn and Kevin Reithel enjoy a Saturday at home. The day is filled with cartoons and playing in the snow for Katy and her sister. Katy has EB a genetic skin condition that causes blistering with slight friction.

Katelyn Reithel becoming USA Elementary Celebrity

From the Newsweekly Jan 21, 2004

By Christopher C. Hooton Contributing Writer

Katelyn Reithel, a fourth grader at USA elementary school, lives every day carefully. She has a genetic skin disorder called Epidermolysis Bullosa.

EB affects the body's ability to produce collagen a protein that connects the two layers of skin, the thin epidermis to the dermis, it can also affect tissue on the inside of the body, like the esophagus. With EB, slight friction or pressure can cause blisters to form where the two layers separate and break down.

"Those little fibrels don't hold the skin layers together like they should, so any form of injury, rubbing, even itching a blood blister forms, or she'll peel the whole layer of skin off," Katy's mom and ER nurse, Amy Reithel said.

EB is extremely rare, a doctor can work their whole lives and never run into it. The Reithels have faced many difficulties because doctors are unfamiliar with the disorder only one in a million children are born with.

As a baby the normal injuries, scrapes, and bruises were scary challenges for the new parents. For the first few years of her life, when she was learning to crawl and walk Katy wore kneepads under her clothes.

"We were constantly having boo-boo parties," Reithel said.

The hospital is a familiar place to the family. Katy treks to Children's Hospital in Detroit and Henry Ford.

"By the end of February . . .we will have about 1500 miles on our vehicle just for medical travel alone starting January 1st already' Reithel said. "All the nurses know her by heart."

One of Katy's least favorite aspects of the EB is when her esophagus constricts. She is careful not to eat hard or sharp foods. Her favorite chili cheese fries need to be a little mushy. When her esophagus does constrict she can't eat.

"When it feels like it's time to go and have a dilation, it hurts because sometimes I can barely get my own spit down," Katelyn said.

She said they give her medicine, and while she is under, they put a balloon down her throat to open the esophagus again. It can constrict down to between one and three millimeters. She has had nine dilations all in the last five years.

"They are always scary, every time," father, Kevin said.

"Even dental work has to be done under anesthesia. Just something as simple as a routine cleaning has to be done in an operating room, but this is our normal," Amy said.

The Reithel's main treatment for Katy is trying to minimize injuries and caring for the blisters that form. The blisters are similar to severe burns. Dressings for damaged skin can be expensive and their insurance company was reluctant to cover more effective burn dressings for Katy.

In the future, gene therapy may be a relief for people with EB. Researchers are working on ways to correct the gene mutation in patients' skin and reintroduce it to their bodies.

Katy wears more clothing and is very careful every day while still being a kid.

"For two years now, every spring and fall I've been playing soccer, and I love doing that," Katelyn said.

"Which the dermatologist absolutely hates. We were trying to keep it a secret and she was excited one time and I thought Tore's eyes were going to pop out of his head," Mom added.

She also likes to swim, and the chlorine helps heal the skin. During summer, she uses a pool in a building on their property. She enjoys playing games at her friend's house and listens to Avril and Hillary Duff. She is also putt-putt champion for two years running in Caro. Last year she got a hole in one.

"I got a hole once!" little sister, Meghan added. On Saturdays, she and Katelyn like to watch cartoons and play in the snow.

Katelyn also likes school. She does well there focusing some of the energy on learning that she can't spend in the rough and tumble of the playground. Her favorite subjects are math and reading.

"I like me," Katy said.

The Reithels said they are overwhelmed by the support they have received from the community the last few months.

November, the elementary school took on a project that raised over $13,000 for Thumb Area Epidermolysis Bollusa Foundation and the Reithels.

With that help they will be taking a trip to Stanford, where specialists can help them how to better care for Katy. They will bring back that knowledge as well as the latest research.

"Some of the kids at school are saying 'Oh my gosh you are becoming a huge celebrity.' I don't like that because I'm just still me, but I like how the community is trying to help," Katelyn said.

The Reithels are to be the recipients Sportsman's VFW benefit breakfast Sunday January 25th 8:00 am to 1:00p.m.

TLC :: The Boy Whose Skin Fell Off

TLC :: The Boy Whose Skin Fell Off

I found this difficult to watch, though I deeply wanted to. I know a little girl with EB. I wrote about Katelyn Reithel for the local paper. USA elementary school had a penny drive to raise money for her treatment. She is an easy girl to fall in love with. When I subbed for her class, her classmates told me that I made her a celebrity. When I see her in the classroom or at church and say hi, I feel I know her, there is a special place in my heart for her, a place where prayers never cease and the incense of God's presence is always burning. When I realized that Jonny's story is the same as her's I cried.

Manifesto

I found this thought provoking booklet at the coffee shop friday. I couldn't get it out of my head. Any one have any idea where it is from?

Elaine's Scary First Sermon 6-19-05

Elaine's Scary First Sermon 6-19-05

My wife preached yesderday. She is a licensed minister too. She was good. It turned me on to see her thinking and exegeting. It was a difficult text. She said, "God is not pro or anti family, He is pro community of Christ. God wants us to come into His family and see His family as ours."

What does that mean to our model for family ministry?

Jurry rigged baptismal heater

The water cycled through the pot, cold in from the head of the tank and hot back to the foot. I had to tie a knot in the inoming hose to try to equalize the flow so it didn't overflow or run dry. We found the system to work, but too slowly to be effective. If I had been able to run it all night Saturday it may have made a difference.

This pump from our fountain supplyed the perc with water from the head of the tank.

I had to punch holes in the hose leading from the percolator so that the bursts of hot water wouldn't be sucked back down into the pot.

I tried to get this perc. urn to heat our baptismal pool

Spiritual gift inventories

LookSmart's Furl - The Chris Hooton Archive

Click above for a wagner-modified houts questionnaire. It is a great way to think about where we fit in the body and how to be engaged. I have also made a kids version.

Late nights

I'm still recovering from a good vacation. We've been staying up too late. So tired.

I got my espresso machine while I was gone. It is sweet. We also picked up a soda siphon for italian sodas. We are about set for a coffee shop. Kyle (Trinity's Youth Director) came over today to sample it and dream about the future.

My projector supercharging has hit a snag. I got all the wiring completed, and the light is bright, but it isn't translating to the wall. I'm going to have to figure out how to focus the beam and get the right angle to make it to the head and then to the wall. More thinking.... Hmm.

Back to Settle Inn Omaha for a swim

Ella is swimming around all by herself now, and Foster hardly complained getting into the water. They were both very hot from the ride to the Big O. Especially Foster who has a fever from teething.

Lincoln Children's Zoo

Ella and Goats

Riding a pony

Ella's Favorite part of the children's zoo in Lincoln was the train.

My Favorite Lincoln Coffee House (CoHo)

Ella and I

This coffee shop has about a dozen Panache coffees brewed at any time. Some of the best coffees I've ever had, Elaine thinks the same about their lemonade.

McCook Bison

We couldn't convince Ella that this Bison wasn't a Lion. We found it at the McCook History Museum while cruising for wifi to publish a post to my lectionary blog.

McCook

At JD's Graduation

Omaha

Ella loved looking at her favorite animal at the Zoo. Aftwards we watched a 3D safari in the IMAX theatre and ate dinner at Spaggetti Works in the Old Market. I love the Old Market.

At the Hotel, Ella was swimming all by herself! Well, her swiming suit is the daughter of a spedo and a life-jacket.

Des Moines

We are almost to Des Moines. This rest stop has a climbing structure over looking Iowa farm land. Ella loved climbing it--with a little help from mom. I climbed it too, easy as it was it brought back my rock climbing days in college.

Davenport

Getting some air at an Iowa rest stop. I love the free wifi!

Gotta read the sign too!

Vacation Day 1

We took off this morning at about 9:30. We made it as far as Peru Il. today. We stopped at Starved Rock State park and went for a hike. Then we went to the hotel and went swimming, Foster with an inflatable boat, and Ella with a swimsuit stuffed with foam. Its been fun so far and will continue to be if we can keep from beign crabby. Tomorrow we are heading to Omaha, hopefully we will get there in time to see the Henry Doorley Zoo and spend some time at Caffine Dreams with my old friends Derrick and Clint.

Communion and rosary

Today and tomorrow, Elaine and I are in Lansing for District Council. We got up at five a.m. to get here (I just got up from a nice nap). We got a little lost coming into Lansing, with us both being tired and cranky that wasn't fun.

We joined the morning service in time for communion but not in time to be served the elements. As Brother Leach spoke about the significance of the body and the blood, I felt I was missing it. I reached into my pocket and pulled out my plastic rosary. Elaine gave me a look; she doesn't want the other pastors thinking I'm a catholic or something. I held the crucifix, clutched in-between my thumb and fist. There was something very moving about physically holding the suffering Christ. I guess that is some of the power of communion isn't it? I wept to feel him, not just the icon of him, but Christ himself suffering for me.

Electronic tinkering

The power jack on our laptop has been going out over the last couple weeks. We decided not to get the protection plan, because we couldn't aford it with the monster dog computer we wanted. So I opened her up. I re-soldered the jack several times, each time it went bad in a worse way. So I picked up a new jack from Radio Shack. It was heavy duty compared with the delicate thing attached to the mother board. I soldered it on with a length of wire, so that the connection wasn't in danger of being torqued, not that that could happen anyway, the jack is bolted to the case. I am very proud of it, my monster computer now has a monster jack. It works great.

All this gets me schemeing. I got an old LCD unit that you set on an overhead projector. It is insanely dim, but what's to stop me from super charging the overhead? I figure I'll get a bunch of really bright lights and mount them inside, I'll wire them seperately and give them their own mean switch. It'll be like hitting turbo, and viola, 5000 lumens! Ok, we'll see how that one turns out.

Speaking of electronics projects, my typewriter to keyboard conversion progresses nicely. I'm in the home stretch. All this tinkering makes me think about investing in a nice soldering iron.

My Goals

I just returned from our quarterly conference on church planting and revitalization. I set some personal goals, here they are:

1. Build a leadership team
2. Spend time with people every day (Speaker, Dennis Clanton expects 40% of our time spent on people)
3. Preach holistic family sermon based in greater prayer and exegesis

Rosary

Chuck, my spiritual director, is getting ready to retire and move to his cabin. His office is getting bare. While meeting with him this week, he gave me an old plastic rosary he had in his office. I have found not only the rythem meaningful as I have prayed it, but just feeling the beads is for me a connection to the prayer. Even in the midst of doing other things, I am reminded of his presence by the bead between my fingers. I wonder if Brother Lawrence felt the same way with a spoon in his hand.

Articles helpful to me

Phrase of the week

The Coffee Cognoscenti

Foster sleeping

Meditations on a sore throat.

Ahg, I am so sick. I have a sore throat and chills and fever. This is the third day, I managed to get through service yesterday and then slept from noon until morning mostly straight through. We went to the doctor today, and he prescribed something, so I thought I could go work for a while at the church office. Elaine said I should nap but I didn't listen to her. She was right!

After filing and writing my thoughts for the lectionary blog, I started to have chills. I couldn't get warm, I never can, but I couldn't get the church above 65 while I was there.

Long story short I started walking around the walls of the church where the heat registers are, absorbing what warmth they afforded. Strangely the setting sun's light filtering through trees and windows also ministered warmth to me.

I don't have a rosary yet, but there were 10 windows around the church so as I walked I prayed, 'Lord Jesus, son of God have mercy on me a sinner." Now I don't know much of the protestant rosary, since I don't have one yet, but after every 10 I said the Lord's Prayer. As I did I meditated on the passion of Christ. The mercy of Christ and meditations on his death and suffering were powerful to me. Was he cold like I was, did he struggle like Bill did when his body gave out from cancer?

Lord thank you for beating death!

[Listening to: Dancin in My Head - Miss Angie - Head On (02:56)]

Coffee tones: an experiment (review)

I have been trying to create a metaphor for describing coffee qualities comparing it to balancing a stereo equalizer. The acidity creates a sharp treble tone that can give the coffee a crisp citrus taste or a mellow wine tone. The midrange is made up by the body of the coffee, or its coffeeness, it could be bold or smooth. Then comes the Bass tone. That is the unifying undertone that resonates in your tastebuds giving the coffee a satisfying power.

The question remains, how do I turn the nobs to create a balanced coffee? My favorite drink, the double Americano, is espresso with water. If you know espresso, it is sharp and powerful with loud treble and mid tones. Adding water brings out the bass tones. After adding water to a regular coffee weak on base tones, my theory is that water turns down the mids, and allows the bass tones that are already there to reverberate. Adding water turns down the mids, too much water will leave only the trebles, and in a coffee with too little body it will just seem watery. Adding more grounds to the brew increases the body, so there are more mids to start with. I think that the bass tones have to do with the darkness of the roast, but since I don't roast the beans, I cannot test that theory. I don't think we even have distinguished lights and darks at bay city coffee and tea, a lot of our coffee seem to lack the bass tones I like.

But watch out! Too much bass tone, is like those coffees (Tim Horton's) that have been sitting on the burner all day, they are as unsatisfying as hearing booty bass from outside a car, just a metallic rattling as the car is over wrought with bass vibrations.

[Listening to: Ammunition - Switchfoot - The Beautiful Letdown (03:46)]

Here I am wrestling again with my fundamentalism.

Last week I was subbing for the high school algebra teacher. In a senior class I overheard two girls talking about how their boyfriends sleep with them at home. One girl told the other, "You shouldn't have to sneak around."

I dropped my head and tears welled up as I listened. It's happened in the past as well. I don't know that sexually active teens disturb me as much as parents who approve of it, to the point of letting their daughter's boyfriends spend the night regularly.

I wondered at my reaction. Why does it bother me so much? Some of my church members don't want to associate with Lutherans, "because all they do is smoke and drink." Am I any different in my view of holiness? And at any rate I can't expect holiness from those who don't know the grace of Christ.

Today I heard from NPR's News & Notes with Ed Gordon that teens will have sex, to think of anything else is ridiculous. Ed Gordon asked his roundtable if maybe the problem was that not enough people from home to the school have stressed abstinence. The roundtable disagreed wholeheartedly dismissing it as the wishful thinking of the father of an 11-year-old girl.

What was wrong with me as a teen? I didn't even kiss on the lips until I was engaged. Does this talk simply embarrass me and my backwards ways?

Lord, shake my fundamentals. Let all fall away except what is holy in your eyes.

Days of survival

I've been fighting a cold the last few days. I made it through service Sunday, but crashed from there. We were supposed to go to a church planting retreat yesterday and today but didn't feel up to it. Still I managed to get the mess of an office upstairs cleaned out, and started working on this Sunday's sermon as well as the lenten services I'm involved in.

I still feel in a fog, and like life and work is passing me by. I am about to get started into the proper of the season in my Liturgy of the Hours, but they have been difficult to find meaning in through the clouds. Coffee soothes my throat but I've had so much of it that I'm getting indigestion.

This whole idea of entering the wilderness with Chirst keeps coming back to me. In the wilderness those things that I look to for succor and support are distant. I go hungry and thirsty. My attempts to be soothed leave me with indigestion and my heart burning.

The hunger and desire I can see in the words I write are now as intangible and as hard to hang on to as the fog I'm in. Lord take me out of this land of fog and mixed metaphor. Lead me into the wilderness, but open my eyes to your presence even here.

[Listening to: Track 8 - Unknown Artist - Unknown Album (1/30/2005 9:09:53 AM) (05:20)]

Psalm 35

Of David.

PS 35:1 Contend, O LORD, with those who contend with me;
fight against those who fight against me.

PS 35:2 Take up shield and buckler;
arise and come to my aid.

PS 35:3 Brandish spear and javelinn
against those who pursue me.
Say to my soul,
"I am your salvation."

PS 35:4 May those who seek my life
be disgraced and put to shame;
may those who plot my ruin
be turned back in dismay.

PS 35:5 May they be like chaff before the wind,
with the angel of the LORD driving them away;

PS 35:6 may their path be dark and slippery,
with the angel of the LORD pursuing them.

Lent and rhythm of prayer

I'm ashamed that it has been so long since I've posted here. That reflects a lack of commitment to a discipline of grace. What has God been doing in me that I have missed writing about?

I've started developing a rhythm of prayer using the liturgy of the hours. I found a used edition of Vol II. It starts at lent time, but I have been using the psalmody the past few days. At first, it was more an academic exercise than prayer, but as time goes on the psalms connected with the times of day have been a comfort and joy. Praying that the light would shine in the morning and that waking or sleeping God would watch over me at night. When I feel anxious the psalms have expressed my fears as well as my highest aspirations.

I went over to Ray Orth's house before I started. He helped me understand how to use the book, and excited me deeply with stories about how his own interactions with the psalms and liturgy affected his long ministry.

One of the anxieties I've struggle with since last night has been helped by this practice of prayer. Last night I was at a parishioner's house. She expressed concern that we were participating in the community Lenten services.

"All the years I have been in the Assemblies of God we have never celebrated lent."

I tried to explain to her that lent isn't wrong and that we would not be leaving the Assemblies of God because of the influence of the community churches (apparently a very real fear). The A/G church in Bay City left the assemblies a few years back but that was because of isolation and doctrinal issues. This is the exact opposite. By participating in the community we establish our distinctiveness. We need each other for discipleship. We can offer the main liners a sense of the imminence of God and the work of the Spirit. They offer us a sense of social justice, a love for the word, a connection to a rich history. We need each other, that doesn't mean we are reduced, rather we should hold our distinctiveness high, and strive for all orthodoxy. As Chesterton describes it-following all truths to their extremes at the same time, there by being balanced.

Ah sovereign Lord, grant me peace and strength. Help me deal with this underlying anxiety that the rest of the A/G wouldn't understand my mystical bent, or my desire to explore faith from every tradition, that I would be looked down upon on worse. You are my hearts desire and yearning, that is all. Protect me my father.

Tsunami and tears

I have been untouched by the Tsunami in Asia. It did not stop my life, or a single day. I did not shed a single tear. At our ministerial meeting today we questioned our feelings. How could we expect our congregations to care if we did not? Why is this disaster so distant and unremarkable to us?

I remember on 9/11 dropping my wife off at work, then getting home and turning on the TV in time to watch as the second plane struck the towers, live. I watched all day as it replayed. It was like a liturgy for me-a meditation on suffering and unconceivable acts. It stopped my day. Downtown, Minneapolis was bare. The only people at office Depot with Elaine were buying cables so they could also sit in the sacramental television light.

The tsunami didn't interrupt my day.

Even more than 9/11, I can remember feeling as the challenger exploded. I was in second or third grade. I remember being sent home from school early to watch the shuttle puff into two plumes of smoke over and over again. We had been studying the challenger mission. With a teacher on board school children around the country were learning about space, and then death.

But I saw nothing of the tsunami.

It was a week before I was even aware of it. My only thought then was, 'Oh, I can't preach on that. No one here would care." Truth is I didn't care.

Last night I read "The Prayer Of Tears" from Foster's book, Prayer. It wasn't until our discussion today that I wept. And I weep. This really brought it home; it is a sermon Glen shared with us from an Australian Pastor.

As a father
I've been tormented by those images this week
Imagining myself trying to protect my child
as the wave hit
desperately clinging to her with every ounce of strength
only to feel her ripped from my arms
and torn away in the surging blackness
and then later hunting for her
in the chaos and ruins
checking body after body
desperately hoping that none of them are her
that somehow she will have been washed to safety
and then finding her crumpled and lifeless
and blindly carrying her limp body
looking for someone who could help
but knowing in the hollow depths of my guts
that nothing can help
and seeing in the eyes of everyone who passes
that to all but me she is just one more
of a hundred thousand corpses

[Listening to: Shout to the Lord - Ardent Worship - Skillet (06:30)]