Parents as Spiritual Directors

Then little children were being brought to him in order that he might lay his hands on them and pray. The disciples spoke sternly to those who brought them; but Jesus said, ‘Let the little children come to me, and do not stop them; for it is to such as these that the kingdom of heaven belongs.’ And he laid his hands on them and went on his way.[1]

Who would doubt Jesus’ sincerity about wanting children to come to him? Yet the actions of many in the church imply that we don’t believe children can really access the depths of relationship with Christ. There are challenges associated with the spirituality of children, to be sure, but against them stand the very nature of God and ancient practices that can assist children on the way.

Challenge

When I was a teenager I was delighted to be ministering to children. I felt called to children’s ministry as a child and as a teenager I was already realizing the dream.  However, one Sunday morning shook my convictions so violently that, for a time, I abandoned the thought of ministry to children. A new pastor had just taken over the children’s ministry that I had been running with some friends. I was helping her this particular Sunday when she invited the children to respond to a salvation message. I saw many children finding places of prayer, asking Jesus to be their Savior.  Instead of producing joy, this event rocked me to my core.  Many of these children were already saved and had in the weeks and months before been finding places of prayer to deepen their relationships with God and seek the baptism in the Holy Spirit.  I was immediately faced with the question: Can children understand this spiritual life? Is the richness of relationship with the triune God available to them?

Today, I am the father of five-year-old Foster and seven-year-old Ella. This challenge comes home to me as I attempt to use all of my training as a children’s pastor to help them find their own experiences of God. Ella is naturally more interested in the things of God. Foster is younger and is at a stage where “Jesus things” are boring.  Exploring Foster’s spirituality with him is even more challenging. I have come to believe that the wealth of spiritual relationship is for them, yet those questions from my teen years spur me on to study how that spiritual growth happens.

Is change coming?

Three weeks was a long time to be away. It was so good for me.  I come back to the house, not with a depressed listlessness, but a restless contentment and an expectation of what is to come. I feel alive again.

Elaine and I have called this Summer a time of transition. We have no idea what that means, only a sense that something needed to change. As we spent time together on our trip our sense became more clear. Change is coming and we are both open to it.  We still have no idea what that will look like.  We are not actively looking, the door will have to present itself and open on its own accord by the power of God.

My dad is helping to plant Crowne Pointe church in Bloomington. They meet in the auditorium beloning to Cedar Valley Church (or as I knew it Bloomington AG).  We went with the kids to Real Kids FX (Family Experience) an integrated service before the regular services. I was in love.  Children's Pastor, Jesse Baumgartner, has found a way to put my philosophy of ministry into action!  The service opened my eyes to how my family ministry model can be fit into the expectations of an existing church.  It also showed me how I could feel comfortable being part of the pastoral team in a large church setting. I could totally see being the pastor to the families in the FX service, or even seeing it as a church plant that the big church mothers.

There seems to be a big jump from where we are to that kind of place where I can engage in my passions. Will God transform our church into the place I flourish? or will it be a church plant in Bay City? or will God move us to a metropolitan area like Kalamazoo or Traverse City?  Time will tell. For now we wait on the Lord (Isaiah 40:31).

Habits of a Child's Heart

Habits of a Child's Heart: Raising Your Kids With the Spiritual Discipline by Valerie E. Hess

My rating: 4 of 5 stars
In Habits of a Child’s Heart, Valerie Hess and Marti Garlett present a very accessible retelling of Richard Foster’s Celebration of Discipline. They take each discipline that Foster covers in Celebration of Discipline one at a time.  They give an overview of the discipline, providing stories from their own experiences with the discipline.  Then they give the parent suggestions for practicing the discipline. The practices are very practical and often geared toward the challenges faced by parents.  The authors then give age specific suggestions as to how children could practice each discipline.  They offer three categories, young children (5-7), middle childhood (8-11) and adolescence (12-15).

Present in this outstanding work is the assumption that the disciplined life is accessible even to children.  The goal of the disciplines is not simply character development or building a Christian worldview. Rather it is building of experiences with God through God’s grace.  Experiences like these are the stuff of spiritual direction.  Fathers Barry and Connolly point out in their book, The Practice of Spiritual Direction, that with out such experiences there can be no direction.  The spiritual director is primarily concerned with the experiences the directee is having with the Spirit.  Parents have a great resource in the Habits of a Child’s Heart for offering places where children can experience grace moving on them.

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Spiritual Lessons from Kung Fu Panda

Kung Fu Panda offers some lessons for spiritual formation for those with eyes to see. Here are some things to look for:

• Indirection

In Kung Fu Panda, Shifu cannot train Po directly. Po is out of shape and has never studied kung fu. He is not quick to learn. Shifu however discovers that to reach food Po can do amaizing things. So instead of getting Po to concentrate on kung fu, he gets him to concentrate on getting the food.

As Dallas Willard says, the spiritual life burns grace like a jet burns fuel. Without grace we cannot address the things that need transformation in our lives. We cannot address these needs head on. Instead through Spiritual Disciplines we place ourselves in a position where God can pour grace through us transforming us into something new.

• Freedom through discipline

After training, Shifu tells Po that he is free to eat the dumpling. It can't be that easy can it? Po has to use all of his skills to get the dumpling from Shifu.

Richard Foster writes in Life With God,

Again, Spiritual Disciplines involve doing what we can do to receive from God the power to do what we cannot do. And God graciously uses this process to produce in us the kind of person who automatically will do what needs to be done when it needs to be done.

This ability to do what needs to be done when it needs to be done is the true freedom in life. Freedom comes not from the absence of restraint but from the presence of discipline. Only the disciplined gymnast is free to score a perfect ten on the parallel bars. Only the disciplined violinist is free to play Pagannini's "Caprices." This, of course, is true in all of life, but it is never more true than in the spiritual life (18).

Family Ministry: Rebuilding the Church on a Relational Theology

Table of Contents

• Relational Ministry
• Discipleship
• Worship and Intimacy
• Evangelism and Relationship

Vision

To bring hope to hopeless children

The need

As a counselor at kids camp in 1999 I was brought to my knees with a buren for the hopeless. I had two in my group, Charlie and Chris who have had a tough life, because of it they acted out. They were picked on, different and volatile. In a world that creates hopeless situations, Christ brings hope. I also brought to the camp T----. Similarly she was socially affected by hard times. Can she function normally? Christ brings healing. With Joan's connections at county corrections, we have seen many kids who have been failed in so many ways. They are hurt, broken, scared and can't see any hope. Christ is all about healing hurt, broken, scared people. These hurts come out in unloveable and unacceptable ways, and we are called to love them, called to accept them.

The challenge

These kids have had so little exposure to God and the things of God that they have difficulties learning with those who have been exposed. The difficulties include lack of understanding of church-speak, not knowing how to act and most importantly they have needs so important and so large in their eyes that they can't see the very real need of God and salvation.

The Solution

Because disinterest causes behavior problems we need to be simple in speech, prepared and patient. Most importantly, we need to find ways to meet those felt needs so they can come to see their need for God and allow him to change them - to bring hope.

This has everything to do with evangelism. There is only one way to reach the unchurched and that is by meeting them where they are. The prayer, care, share model fits this perfectly. Prayer allows God to speak truth and knowlege of their situation as well as change our hearts to love. Care is a matter of meeting those needs that are paramount in their eyes. When met they are alowed to explore greater depths.

Who is equipped to meet these needs? Those who need to know the dpths themselves.

Leading Children into Discipleship

The Need

I have found discipleship to be the great joy of the Christian life. The joy of relationship and the romance of redemption aren't just frills, they are the whole point. Like Jeremiah, there is no greater testimony to God's desire to fellowship than a child who knows the Voice of God. It is the firm belief that children can develop wells of relationship with God that has driven me to minister with children. Over the last year as I have grown, the Disciplines have become more and more important to me. I have become a prospector, and knowing God my gold. Knowing God isn't a key part of ministry, it is all of it. As a heart grows to beat in rhythm with the divine heart, it changes all around it and lets the Spirit move it to the right actions. These hearts only beat as one as the grace of God enables. The Disciplines put is in a position where God works his grace in us.

The Challenge

The Disciplines are expressions of love and as with any love we must decide to love God in this way. Such a decision takes commitment. Children are capable of such commitment, but they don't usually understand the gravity of such a decision. They also need great support to stay focused with so many things calling for their time and attention.

The Solution

All the elements of Christian life must be continually offered to these young Christians that they may grow. Things such as worship, prayer, the word, baptism, communion and ministry are food for growing kids. For them to catch it however it must be done in context.

Ministry Within Context

The Need

To be effective in sharing Christ with children we need to be aware of the influences they face. To hold attention in an environment where everything demands attention, we must be aware of the culture they are immersed in and use it's keys and methods. In order to disciple and keep them we must nurture and and understand the context of the natural support system - the family.

Christ is Lord of culture who can reign as effectively over the Sawi tribesmen of Papua New Guinea as he can over the techno generation of suburban America. He can use the customs, music, art, and worldview to bring his Kingdom. Christ is not afraid of culture, but rather reigns. Kids have their own distinctives and sub-culture. Their cartoons, games, hobbies, interests, school life, books and families create a unique people to minister to. This context must be considered.

The family is the child's source of support and development. It is the place where values are formed and attitudes set. Effective ministry must recognize the place the famiy as the spiritual leadership for the children. Effective ministry nurtures and strengthens this unit, giving it them the resources to succeed.

The Challenge

Parents and children learn in different ways. They understand things at different levels. This poses two challenges. First, parents at times miss the importance of the spiritual needs of their children, placing their needs below their own. Second it is difficult to connect between generations. The culture is changing continually and as the distinctives of kid culture become more pronounced the adults have more difficult communicating. The American child is given many opportunities. Often these things play a tug of war with the child. Time is demanded at sports practices, school, homework, friends, TV, etc..., and family time is small. With so much vying for attention, it can be difficult to get their attention. We must be able to use things they already focus on to share Christ and in such a way that it doesn't further stress the family.

The Solution

The solution begins in study. I purpose to learn both kid culture and the family dynamics of the culture where I am. Armed with this knowledge, we must minister accordingly. Imitating God by taking what is meant for entertainment or even evil, and using it for God's Kingdom is a starting place into kid culture. Kids will like what they like. Our job is to teach Christ and him crucified through it. Ultimately this will mean riding the wave of technology and trend while balancing the delicate and taut line of The Spirit. That line points continually to Christ and never looses its focus.

With the knowledge of the family, every effort should be made to tap into its power as a support structure and value disseminator. Hope must be offered to the whole family. The elements of Christian growth, the Disciplines, are best experienced in this context and the sharing of the life of Christ corporately and individually at the level of kid culture can and should be enjoyed as a family.

Vision

My vision consists of the following elements, and herein lies my passion:

1. Bringing hope to hopeless children
2. Leading Children into deep relationship and discipleship
3. (Minister to the whole family) Minister within the family context and the cultural context

(SKIDS Church logo)

Spending time at the store

Mr. Cooper's little grocery store wasn't far, and Chris Buzzworth always walked down there every day to get the freshest ingredients for his restaurant.

Chris and Mr. Cooper were best friends and he loved to shop there, but over time, Christ started getting lazy. He added about 23 new items to the menu and was so busy sitting on the couch thinking, he didn't go down to the store very much anymore. The times he did go, he didn't feel like carrying so much, so he bought less.

After awhile Chris started to wonder why his customers stopped coming.

Real food

Buzz had just hit the mother load. There was a lot of nectar, a lot of flowers and few bees. He got a load of nectar and flew it back to the hive.

His friends at the hive loved to have fun. Most bees work themselves so hard that they die, but these like to play more than anything. At this time the hive was all abuzz because there was a party going on. There was splishing and a splashing, moving and a grooving. All this celebration - even though the nectar supply was running really low.

When Buzz got to the hive, he quickly flew in and started the butt waggle dance. That is supposed to tell the others where the food is, how good it is and how far away it is. He started passing out samples, but no one accepted it. They all wanted to drink Pepsi instead. He was in the middle of a huge group of bees. He was getting pushed from every direction while his mouth was full of nectar. Bee after bee hit him back and forth while they danced. Soon the nectar was forced from his cheeks. No one would listen no matter how hard he tried.

After he had passed out all the samples and had done the butt waggle dance, all the bees left. Maybe some of the bees went to get nectar, but most just went to play tag.