My Holy Week

"I may never pass this way again."

I kept telling myself this as I went from church to church. When I am attached again to a congregation, how would I be as free to hang out with other churches?

 Maundy Thursday, I missed my chance to go to St. Alban's healing service.  The kids swimming lessons kept us too late.  So we had communion at our community dinner. That was great, but we should have had a foot washing.

Good Friday, I felt the sorrow and needed a service. (I have been accused of being a church addict this week.)  We missed the noon time services, but I ran into Pastor Isaac Chung from Westminster Presbyterian at Populace Coffee, and they were having a 7:00 Tenebre service that Ella and I went to.  Ella was very impressed with the progressive darkening of the sanctuary and our leaving by our lighted candles.

Saturday I spent with the folks at Trinity Episcopal church. This was the first Easter Vigil service I have been to.  It is similar to praying vigils at the monastery.  Communion and the word made this service awesome and got me dreaming of doing a vigil service that actually lasted all night.

Sunday morning was busy. I went to the sunrise service at Carroll Park.  This is put on every year by the youth at First Presbyterian. The service started at 6:45.  I loved watching the clouds light up with reds as the sun rose in the East, while the moon hung large and orange in the West. Another great feature of this service was the family friendly nature, with an egg hunt, donuts, and hot chocolate and coffee to drive away the chill.

Since it was still early I headed back to Westminster for their 8:00 service. Then home for breakfast where I discovered that the daughter of our church planting partners was in the hospital in Midland receiving an appendectomy.  Elaine grabbed some flowers from the flower bed and we took off for the hospital on our way to church.  The kids went with Grandma, and met us at church.

Sharing Holy Week with so many congregations as a stranger made me really appreciate the body of Christ in its vastness and diversity.  All these disparate people were celebrating the same reality of the resurrection.  I am grateful to be a part of such a body and rich tradition.

Living in Community

I am starting to get a sense of the joys of living in community as well as the work involved. My favorite feature of community so far is evening prayer, especially when followed by a community meal. This is where living together for the sake growing in Christ really shines.

Today I made porcupine meatballs. I made one batch in our normal way and tried another batch as a vegetarian dish using black beans. Apparently the rice I used was not of the par-boiled variety so they wound up kind of crunchy.  But the real joy was sitting together at a picnic table by the street curb enjoying the meal together even as the rest of the neighborhood passed by, seeing the clouds reflect the setting sun and the fireflies joining us to entertain the kids. It is an idyllic life.

It is also a lot of work. I can see already how difficult it can be to keep channels of communication open. It has been especially difficult with the intense heat this week, we spent the last couple evenings in our air conditioned room rather than chatting. Last night we had a wonderful reading of the first half of Othello, but I was strangely withdrawn not even daring to read.  It will be interesting to see how the next weeks play out and if what binds me loosens its grip.  I think three weeks may be just about right.  One is over too fast, like a vacation.  Two is comfortable. By three we ought to have gotten to the real work of living in community under a spiritual rule.

Solitude and Community

I value deep relationships. I desire to know and be known in the secret places. Nouwen insists that everyone needs a place that remains hidden and we are often too quick to reveal the inner workings of our lives. I find that difficult to understand. Transparency is a downright discipline for me, and I agree with Nouwen that that which is most intimate is the most universal. Yet, Nouwen also displays an intense desire for community like I do. Nouwen’s life and body of work demonstrates a relentless drive to integration. How then does he integrate the hidden solitary place with a robust community?

Structuring Solitude


I value depth of relationship so much! I long to enter into life giving soul-level conversation with people I meet. I have often felt it ironic that, for me, beginning a relationship is difficult. The shallow small talk causes me to stumble and gives me enough pause to avoid beginning a relationship.

Master's Residency Retreat Reflection

I want to get arrested. I have always resonated with the actions of the apostles. “The apostles left the Sanhedrin, rejoicing because they had been counted worthy of suffering disgrace for the Name.” I want to be on the frontline addressing social justice, but at the same time I live in rural Michigan among working class people. I have to come to terms with what it means to engage in the fight for justice here.

While my community doesn’t see many homeless on the streets (if there are any I am blind to it) in many ways the people are subject to injustice. There is one factory that sits empty most of the time and struggles to stay open when a new owner takes it over. The last owners made good on a threat to close the plant if the workers unionized. The majority of people in my congregation are retirees receiving pensions from GM. The status of the auto industry and concessions the UAW allow affects their health insurance and incomes. A few of my parishioners are ex-cons faced with the difficulty of reintegrating in to society with the added strain of a jobless market. Our downtown is empting out, as business after business can’t make it. Our young families are either moving away or work in another town and don’t connect with the community or local churches. In very real ways some the work of social justice involves the people sitting in my pews and the people living on my block. How can I address these issues? Is there a time when I might be persecuted for making a prophetic stand against injustice?

Community

Reading Shane Claiborne’s book, Becoming The Answer To Our Prayers, I resonated with the new monastic concept of community. When my wife and I were first married, we ran across and article on theooze.com about singles and married couples with children living in community . We were intrigued and drawn to the idea. It has long been a goal of ours to live in community in a big house with people and start micro-churches. A number of years back I wrote a story and play for families based on 1 John 5 that was set on a moon colony. The moon colony was what I called a neo-monastic commune. My ideas about how that would work were surprisingly close to what Shane and the new monastics call the twelve marks of new monasticism.

In Acts just after the first account of Peter and John being released from the clutches of the Sanhedrin, the young church prays for boldness, the house is shaken and they are again filled with the Spirit. It is in that context Luke notes something interesting. “All the believers were in one heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had.” I’ve always been able to almost feel the camaraderie of the community in the early church. I long for the relationships, the closeness, and the generosity that the family of God had then. It has been said by many that this kind of communism couldn’t be sustained. But couldn’t it really? Not as a social system but as the outflow of love and commitment?

There is an intimacy to worship. In a gathering that lacks community, lacks intimacy and the shared journey of faith, I have found myself distrustful of sharing my worship with others. I almost feel jealousy toward these others claiming to love my Jesus. In our retreat I did not have any of these feelings. I was surrounded by like seekers. Our journeys had brought us together on parallel tracks for a time. I could worship in true freedom and with an intimacy that comingled with the others in the room. This I think is the family of God!

My own cohort is especially a dear example of what the church is to be. Our love for each other is unfeigned and without condition. As much as I may cherish my worries about how cool or un-cool I am, how annoying or foolish I may come across my cohort expressed love for me that denied these concerns. This concern for each other extends in our sharing and praying for each other as we in real ways bear up one another’s burdens (and continue to do so as we are home).
My cohort shocked me with their love. I was embarrassed to tell them (as I am embarrassed to admit now) that I came to Philadelphia with empty pockets. The only transportation I could afford was catching a ride with the SAU team and committed myself to the added cost of eating and an extra night in the hotel. Elaine gave me her Christmas bonus from work, which we had picked up on our way, which paid for my food. When we got to the hotel I swiped my debit card knowing that it would cause and overdraft back home. I had to tell my crying wife that I was too ashamed to ask for help from one of my friends.

As we talked about the frustrations we had with our attempts at social justice, I related to my cohort that I was ashamed that my family was on food stamps and I couldn’t provide for them. Then I found myself telling them what coming to Philly had meant for my family. They prayed for me and that was all I wanted. It was a beautiful prayer that delved into the real concerns of my heart, the church and family I left at home. They didn’t stop there, however. They took up a collection! They provided me with over $300 and paid my way back home. I am humbled. As I write this tears well up at the realization of the love of the family of God.

It has been said at every residency retreat, “this is what the body of Christ looks like.” This is true.

The abandoned places

Whispered echoes keep coming back to me from the places the new monastic communities find a home – the abandoned places. Setting up shop as disciples in the abandoned places of the world seems dear to me. I think about my friends Steve and Roderick buying an abandoned house for a dollar in the desolate lesser cathedral district of Saginaw. As they fix it up and inspire others to move into the neighborhood, they are transforming the community.

I think about the abandoned downtown Sebewaing. Could fighting for social justice in my little town mean bringing life back to the downtown – life and hope? For a few years we (the local ministerial) have been working with the school district to better meet the needs of teens. We have started what has been called a movement to start a coffeehouse and restore a movie theater in downtown Sebewaing. The coffeehouse has been located in my church basement for the last couple years, but now, as we look to move it out into the public, it is exciting to see how God is moving. Could God be so interested in this project because moving downtown will somehow free the poor and oppressed in my village? I am excited to see that we are already engaging in the social justice fight and it has been just because we have been trying to follow the leading of God.
What about the abandoned factories and the abandoned houses? Is there any way we can begin to extend our household here? Can our church family begin to share resources, tables and lives in a culture that is so individualistic and independent? Can we share a garden? Tools? Food? How about sharing our spiritual journey? These are the questions that are fire to my mind this month, I pray the fire does not die but is fanned by those who ask the questions with me.

Residency Day 5

Today I feel like my brain is full and I can’t learn any more. I need to take a break, or as Jerrell said to night, “I need some action…” then he added, “and then some time for reflection – praxis!” I feel like I need to get home and do something – bring hope to our abandoned downtown, find the poor to hang out with, get arrested for opposing injustice! Most important I want to get back to my wife and family and enjoy them. I love living in community with them and our desire to expand that community to others! Ella, Foster, Elaine, I am coming home soon, but not soon enough for my heart.

To relieve this tension, a bunch of my classmates and I went out again tonight. The conversation at the table was good, but the laughter in the packed car on the way home restores my soul!

Give me Sebewaing or I die

Ed Stetzer’s seminars at district council really have me thinking. He told of how John Knox prayed “Give me Scotland or I die.” Do I care that much for the people God has given to me?

Stetzer also talked about the propensity for pastors to have demographic lust and community envy. He asked us, can we pastor in a culture that we don’t really like? In a church that doesn’t do things the way we want them too? Is it about our preferences or reaching the culture in which we are placed?

Wow. We just saw the church planters line up in front. One couple is planting to the pomo intellectuals in Ann Arbor. I leaned over to Elaine and said, “If we move to Ann Arbor when I’m working on my doctorate, lets go to that church.” I don’t really like blue collar culture. I hate going to walmart. Yet here I am in Sebewaing. I know that this is where God has called me. He has given me as a gift to these people and more important to me, he has given them to me.

God forgive me. Birth in me a love for my culture - for my city. May I be able to pray with my whole being, “God give me Sebewaing or I die. Give me Unionville or I die.”

Steve Bradshaw set out slips of paper with the names of towns and their populations - places that had no A/G church. As I was praying and wrestling with my lack of love, I saw Bay City pop 36,817. I knelt down by it. I placed my finger tips on it, praying for Bay City. I had a burden for Bay City. What does that mean? What do I do with this slip of paper? Do I lay it on the altar and relinquish it to God, saying Lord, send laborers into this field? Do I see this as a sign that I should leave here and plant in Bay City or is it a case of culture envy? I knelt there, my fingers caressing the paper for many minutes. I don’t know what to do with Bay City. The paper I left there on the floor. I feel God calling me to love my people, to love Sebewaing, to figure out how to effectively minister to blue collar culture and then maybe my people and I can do something about Bay City.

Getting up from that time of wrestling, any doubts are gone. I am growing in love toward my community.

unity through diversity

My friend Kim Butts said,

"It would be an amazing thing for the body of Christ to intentionally draw together in unity around His word so that we can experience and obey Jesus in all His fullness."

So often, it seems, as we gather around the word, we find more to divide us than to bind us together. We need to learn a new way. We need to be the body of Christ as we approach the word of Christ. My experiences with my local ministerial have taught me the richness of really coming together around the word, as we do weekly (ah the joys of the revised common lectionary!).

I believe diversity is the key to community. A homogeneous group isn't able to meet on another's needs nor see properly. Like the fable of the blind men inspecting the elephant, God is too big for any of us to grasp so we all the more need on another. The more diverse views of God we get the better we can see him.

He will turn my board meeting into dancing

My first experience with a church board was did not instill much faith in the system. I was on staff as children’s ministry director at a contentious church. The Youth Pastor and I decided to take up an invitation from the Senior Pastor to sit in on a board meeting. It was the first and last board meeting either of us went to of our own accord. They first vehemently denied the pastor any options the pastor gave to assist with his retirement, they didn’t want to encourage him to say any longer. They then dug into me and continued to rake me over the coals for an hour. I was just beginning my experiments with The Disciplines then and was in the midst of an extended fast. That I maintained my cool and sat in submission to the beating had to have been because the disciplines had placed me squarely in Grace. Nothing but grace can account for it. I went home and prayed psalm 119 several times, it was all I could do for solace.

Thinking about guidance brought those memories and feelings up again. I believe this is not the way a board should operate. Instead of viewing themselves as the empowered representatives of the congregation, I believe they are men and women chosen for their maturity and willingness to seek the will of God. Board meetings should be worship, times devoted to the discipline of corporate guidance and firmly rooted in the celebration of who we are together in Christ.

In the West, especially in America, we have been acclimated to Democracy, even to the point of seeing its spread as our sacred mission. Our two party system of representative governance provides us with checks and balances, but it also provides us with winners and losers. Each election sees half the country demoralized and the other half victorious. This is not how the church should operate.

Corinne McLaughlin suggests that a “spiritual” approach to politics would seek a synthesis of ideas. She suggests that synthesis is more than compromise, because in compromise both sides loose something. “A spirit of goodwill towards those with opposing views, a win/win rather than win/lose approach, a release of self-righteousness, and a compassionate, healing spirit are the keys to this new politics.”¹

Of all places a healing, compassionate spirit should be found it should be in the church. The discipline of corporate guidance provides us with the key. Instead of Robert’s Rules which are built on the win/lose model, I would like to take a system like The Handbook For Consensus Building² and infuse it with liturgy.

Guidance is a corporate discipline so it is appropriate that it fit in the context of worship. Foster points out that when sending out Paul and Barnabas as missionaries, The church at Antioch came together in prayer and worship. “Having become a prepared people, the call of God arose out of their corporate worship: ‘Set apart for me Barnabas and Saul for the work to which I have called them.”³

I envision a spiritual rule for board meetings. Like Foster says this must be in the “organic and functional sense.”⁴ It cannot be empty form or cold corporate policy to be any different from the contentious politicking of the past. The Short Guide for Consensus building suggests stages such as convening, assessing, discussing, deciding and implementing. Building into that the liturgical elements of convocation, worship, meditation and celebration create a mystical format for a spiritual body to use.

Celebration is important. It intersects with guidance in the organizational because we must begin with the joyful understanding of our identity, that we are one, the body. Jesus commanded that we love one another, “that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.”⁵

For example, as I read The Divine Embrace, I must confess I was put off by Webber’s mostly negative view of the places his stone “skipped across the water of history.” He spent much time in the first half of the book, “rescuing” spirituality from this danger and that.⁶ His melody had a harsh tone in my ear. This is partly because Foster’s Streams of Living Water still plays there. Foster celebrates each of the traditions before touching on the dangers and so has greatly impacted my thinking. Both authors offer true guidance to me, but the celebratory style of Foster (and the second half of Webber) was much more gratifying to me.

So it is as we gather to seek God’s face. Without celebrating him and each other, we risk turning one another off to hearing true guidance.

Celebration is a powerful thing. This week I spent three quarters of an hour dancing before God on the platform of my church! Discretion is advised here, I signed a paper stating I would not embarrass the Assemblies of God and if any one saw me dancing they would be embarrassed for me! Needless to say I was alone. Most of the music wasn’t of the Christian sub-culture suggested by Calhoun in her exercise⁷, but it was amazing how“Tell Me Something Good” by Rufus can usher one into God’s story of love.

How wonderful it is when celebration can happen with others and not just alone. How I long for the Spirit of celebration to permeate my next board meeting!

1 McLaughlin, Corinne. "Beyond Right and Left." The Center For Visionary Leadership. 2004. 20 Dec. 2007 <http://www.visionarylead.org/articles/beyond_lr.htm>.

2 Susskind, Lawrence E. "Short Guide to Consensus Building." Harvard Public Disputes Program. 9 Aug. 1999. MIT. 20 Dec. 2007 <http://web.mit.edu/publicdisputes/practice/cbh_ch1.html>.

3 Foster, Richard J. Celebration of Discipline. San Fransisco: HarperCollins. 1980. Pp. 177-178.

4 Foster. 175.

5 John 15:11 (NIV)

6 Webber, Robert E. The Divine Embrace. Grand Rapids: Baker Books. 2006. Pp 31, 57, 79, 101.

7 Calhoun, Adele Ahlberg. Spiritual Disciplines Handbook. Doweners Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press. 2005. Pg. 28 (exercise 1).