Living in Community

I am starting to get a sense of the joys of living in community as well as the work involved. My favorite feature of community so far is evening prayer, especially when followed by a community meal. This is where living together for the sake growing in Christ really shines.

Today I made porcupine meatballs. I made one batch in our normal way and tried another batch as a vegetarian dish using black beans. Apparently the rice I used was not of the par-boiled variety so they wound up kind of crunchy.  But the real joy was sitting together at a picnic table by the street curb enjoying the meal together even as the rest of the neighborhood passed by, seeing the clouds reflect the setting sun and the fireflies joining us to entertain the kids. It is an idyllic life.

It is also a lot of work. I can see already how difficult it can be to keep channels of communication open. It has been especially difficult with the intense heat this week, we spent the last couple evenings in our air conditioned room rather than chatting. Last night we had a wonderful reading of the first half of Othello, but I was strangely withdrawn not even daring to read.  It will be interesting to see how the next weeks play out and if what binds me loosens its grip.  I think three weeks may be just about right.  One is over too fast, like a vacation.  Two is comfortable. By three we ought to have gotten to the real work of living in community under a spiritual rule.

Union and Communion

The Union and Communion by J. Hudson Taylor
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This is a surprisingly mystical work from the founder of the China Inland Mission. I found it passionately written. Taylor takes a look at the Song of Solomon through the eyes of a Christian Mystic. He identifies with the bride enraptured in her bridegroom, sick with love. In her he finds the dramatic experience of the believer, at one time caught up in union with Christ, at another feeling the pain of separation because of her own heart "prone to wander."

Taylor also betrays a glimpse of his own soul. This hero of modern missions has the heart of a mystic - not one caught up in the navel-gazing which causes many to impugn the mystics, but one whose ardent love for his Beloved stirs him to action.

When she is separated from him for the second time, the bride tells the daughters of Jerusalem how lovely he is, her heart inflamed and faint with love, growing more so as she tells it. (SS 5:9-16)

The LION of the tribe of Judah is to His own bride the KING of love; and, with full heart and beaming face, she so recounts His beauties that the daughters of Jerusalem are seized with strong desire to seek Him with her that they also may behold His beauty.

This is why Hudson Taylor went to China! His heart was so full of his savior's beauty that he had to share it. In comparing the church to the bride of Solomon, he also declares that this is the experience of every Christian, to be so wholly in love with Christ that mission flows from the heart like honey from the comb.

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Sabbatical Adventure: Chicago

Yesterday we made the adventurous journey from Michigan to Chicago.  Our eight week sabbatical begins with a stay with the Community of The Holy Trinity, an intentional community living in a Lutheran parsonage lovingly called the 'Nidge.  Packing for several weeks is an exercise in the discipline of simplicity.  We packed sparingly but we were still cramped.  Before leaving Michigan we bought groceries to bring with us, so that everyone besides the driver (*me) was buried in.

We are trusting God as we embark on this adventure.  We trust God will provide our every need and meet the needs of our congregation as we are gone as well.  We have no money.  Yet we trust God to make a way.  It will be exciting to see how God provides.

As we prayed and prepared to leave during the first week of our sabbatical, Elaine felt that we needed to trust God for $5000!  That is crazy. (God is crazy.)  We feel sure God directed us to take this sabbatical and believe that God will provide for it.  Not only that, but as Elaine was praying she felt God didn't want us to worry about money and that having $5000 would make that possible.  We shall see how God works it out.  We have been blessed with a few hundred so far.

A mistake I often make.

I often inadvertently confuse these two words. For the record, this is a man wearing a cassock:

 

And this is a man wearing a Cossack:

A Screamo Easter

There are three Sundays in particular that cause me consternation: Christmas, Easter and Pentecost. These celebrations are so meaningful to me and the christian faith, that I struggle to communicate them with creativity and pathos appropriate to their inherent specialness.

Easter is coming in a couple days and my soul wants to scream He Lives. The music for the season communicates powerfully with their words but the tunes are reminiscent of marshmallow peeps.

The best rendition of Christ the Lord Is Risen Today that I could find is this one. It is up beat and modern, but in a smooth jazz/r&b sort of way. To communicate the joy and rapture that ought to be bursting from our hearts, the jazz should be rough and the blues sexy. I feel like if I gave voice to my soul I should scream it out half choking on the emotion - I want to hear P.O.D. or Blindside's rendition!

We cannot celebrate Easter hard enough!  Death, the grave and hell conquered by the unfathomed awful rising of the triumphant King!

The Aesthetic Thread

I have come to see an aesthetic thread running through my life. It is there in my tastes in music, art, literature, food, and drink. The spectacular thing is that this thread resonates with my passion for God like the string on a violin.

Holy Longing marks my relationship with God. I have a passionate desire for intimacy with my Divine Lover that has its root in Eros and stretches for Agape. There is a bittersweet quality to our intercourse, my God and I. When I feel surrounded by God’s presence I feel joy and comfort, satisfaction and wholeness, but I also feel tears well up and a lump come to my throat. I rest in God’s presence and at the same time I mourn that I am not consummated and consumed in divine rapture. I have chosen words that may shock the reader with erotic connotations. This is appropriate because the holy longing I am describing is wholly a function of Eros. It is the divine spark and divine madness spoken of by philosophers and mystics alike.

hope

What accounts for this hopeful feeling that fills me today?  Crazy consolation.  I feel as though dreams might really come true. What a wonderful God-feeling.

Flitting and fluttering passions

My Confession, Psalm 131

¹ My heart is not proud, LORD,
   my eyes are not haughty;
I do not concern myself with great matters
   or things too wonderful for me.

Praying this Psalm this morning was a mirror showing me the condition of my heart.  Passions have been swirling around in me clamoring for change.  I have what I still consider God-given ideas and desires.  Passions to help people hungry for spiritual depth, to craft a new church that embraces the ancient symbols and experiences while living in a vibrancy of Pentecost.  I want to see a contemplative and experiential ministry to children and their families out of that church.  I want to minister to kids again.  I want to live in neo-monastic community with others hungry for the same things. All these things swirl around and my haughty eyes see no way that they can be done.  Not here. If these things are indeed from God they come from a depth of mystery.  They are too great for me.  They require patience to unfold in God's wonderful timing.  How I need God's peace to enter the troubled waters of my soul! The rest of Psalm 131 is my need and my goal.

² But I have calmed and quieted myself,
   I am like a weaned child with its mother;
   like a weaned child I am content.

 ³ Israel, put your hope in the LORD
   both now and forevermore.

Brother Leach, this week, told me that these frustrations will never leave.  In ministry there is always something more God is calling us to, stretching us to, stretching our communities to. I need the quieting.  Years ago talking about spiritual formation would send my soul a twitter with excitement.  Looking back at how my masters program in spiritual formation has changed me I see that those fluttering passions have settled into a deep well within me.  I need the same peace about church planting, about the future.

Parents as Spiritual Directors

Then little children were being brought to him in order that he might lay his hands on them and pray. The disciples spoke sternly to those who brought them; but Jesus said, ‘Let the little children come to me, and do not stop them; for it is to such as these that the kingdom of heaven belongs.’ And he laid his hands on them and went on his way.[1]

Who would doubt Jesus’ sincerity about wanting children to come to him? Yet the actions of many in the church imply that we don’t believe children can really access the depths of relationship with Christ. There are challenges associated with the spirituality of children, to be sure, but against them stand the very nature of God and ancient practices that can assist children on the way.

Challenge

When I was a teenager I was delighted to be ministering to children. I felt called to children’s ministry as a child and as a teenager I was already realizing the dream.  However, one Sunday morning shook my convictions so violently that, for a time, I abandoned the thought of ministry to children. A new pastor had just taken over the children’s ministry that I had been running with some friends. I was helping her this particular Sunday when she invited the children to respond to a salvation message. I saw many children finding places of prayer, asking Jesus to be their Savior.  Instead of producing joy, this event rocked me to my core.  Many of these children were already saved and had in the weeks and months before been finding places of prayer to deepen their relationships with God and seek the baptism in the Holy Spirit.  I was immediately faced with the question: Can children understand this spiritual life? Is the richness of relationship with the triune God available to them?

Today, I am the father of five-year-old Foster and seven-year-old Ella. This challenge comes home to me as I attempt to use all of my training as a children’s pastor to help them find their own experiences of God. Ella is naturally more interested in the things of God. Foster is younger and is at a stage where “Jesus things” are boring.  Exploring Foster’s spirituality with him is even more challenging. I have come to believe that the wealth of spiritual relationship is for them, yet those questions from my teen years spur me on to study how that spiritual growth happens.

Midnight machinations

This is the time of night, it seems, that I make resolutions and have grand plans of action. It is too bad that my mind picks the time my body needs to sleep to be most active. A couple nights ago it was a desire to get Foster's room in order. Tonight I am making plans to be productive: praying the hours and doing lectio divina on the texts for each day. Maybe by writing it down,the resolution might linger until morning?