Here I am wrestling again with my fundamentalism.
Last week I was subbing for the high school algebra teacher. In a senior class I overheard two girls talking about how their boyfriends sleep with them at home. One girl told the other, "You shouldn't have to sneak around."
I dropped my head and tears welled up as I listened. It's happened in the past as well. I don't know that sexually active teens disturb me as much as parents who approve of it, to the point of letting their daughter's boyfriends spend the night regularly.
I wondered at my reaction. Why does it bother me so much? Some of my church members don't want to associate with Lutherans, "because all they do is smoke and drink." Am I any different in my view of holiness? And at any rate I can't expect holiness from those who don't know the grace of Christ.
Today I heard from NPR's News & Notes with Ed Gordon that teens will have sex, to think of anything else is ridiculous. Ed Gordon asked his roundtable if maybe the problem was that not enough people from home to the school have stressed abstinence. The roundtable disagreed wholeheartedly dismissing it as the wishful thinking of the father of an 11-year-old girl.
What was wrong with me as a teen? I didn't even kiss on the lips until I was engaged. Does this talk simply embarrass me and my backwards ways?
Lord, shake my fundamentals. Let all fall away except what is holy in your eyes.
Interesting post. Hmmm. Humans are sexual beings-- like dogs, cats, and other animals. I wondered what it may mean to embrace sexuality, honor sexuality, and openiing express the need and desire of humans to have sex. I think part of the issue is that many attempt to stiffle sex rather than acknowledge in a loving, healthy manner one's desire and need. One can then choose at an appropriate time whether to engage or not.
ReplyDeleteThere are alot of young folks running around the church married at 21 who got married becasue they were "in love" and ready to have sex. I am not sure that is a good model for marriage.
I chose to abstain for a few years prior to being married, but it was after I had been active for 15 years. Sex is a reality. I am not sure why the church has put so much emphasis on drinking, cussing, sex and smoking.
Thanks,
Rick
I think for too long the topic of sexuality has been completely off limits for any kind of talk. Both in regular culture, and in church culture. It makes it feel like sex is dirty. I'm kind of like you Chris, I had only kissed a few girls when I started dating my wife. I was also kind of like the person that Rick mentioned, marrying too young because they "didn't want to burn" with the desires of the flesh. I made it to the wedding day without going all the way. We were so proud. But pride has a way of coming back to bite you in the ass. I felt like I was finally able to do this amazing thing, but it still felt dirty. I saw myself as a newly active, sexual person. Sadly I went crazy. I went out with the single guys after work and tried to get crazy with other women. I made out with them, and danced with them, sometimes with my newlywed bride in the next room. Our first three years of marriage were absolute hell because of the immaturity and craziness that we were going through. Maybe it would have been different if we had a little better teaching and a little more perspective on human sexuality and it's proper expression. By God's grace we are still married and deeply in love. We tell people that we have been married 4 wonderful years.... 7 years total. Like I said, by god's grace.
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