Thursday, August 09, 2007

My fear revisited

I just read a comment left on my post, The Future of the A/G, which played upon my fear of no longer fitting in with the fellowship of my childhood, my heritage, and my experience. Even after I sorted through the commenter's reasons that the A/G should get rid of me, and found them baseless and uninformed, I still was left with that burning feeling in my veins as though my blood was thawing and the ice flow of little crystals was playing needle to my *sewing project of your choice*. He tells me not to speak for my generation, that not everyone is apostate and a heretic like me, but he missed the point of my post. That is precisely my fear, though I hold out hope that I in the end will be viewed as embracing a wide orthodoxy rather than being a heretic.

I have to admit my fear is so great, that as soon as I found I had a comment, my heart began to race. Lord I do not feel condemned before you for the beliefs you have brought me to. Help me not to fear men. My only desire is to know you and please you. If being authentic even as people reject me pleases you, or even if my damnation to a more tangible hell would bring glory to your name in some way, let it be my love, let it be!

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