Another year older

I have felt lately like I am reverting. When I was in high school and first couple years in college, I didn't do much about homework nor cared much about grades. I thought if I was learning that was all that was important (of course even that didn't happen in Functions Statistics and Trig).

About half way through my Junior year in college I dropped out for a while to pursue ministry full time, thinking I could get the much coveted degree more quickly through correspondence. I went back to school with a new perspective after getting married, and did some excellent work and loved it! The new wife had to make me some cookies to motivate me to get a paper done once in a while.

The last couple classes I have been getting poorer grades, I figure because I have a propensity to challenge rules like, "If I don't post on Wed, will it really be so bad?" At any rate I have begun to accept that identity again of an underachiever. I feel half alive. This week I have found one life line in praying the hours with a new podcast. (On top of praying they are giving away a four volume set of the liturgy of the hours for promoting it, so I have been excitedly doing that... that's perhaps all I have been excitedly doing.) So, I figure one of two things will get me out of my funk. 1.) calculating my grades and becoming convinced that the damage wont be so bad, or 2.) Elaine promising me some cookie loving.

I pray in the words of Switchfoot

I want to wake up kicking and screaming
I want to wake up kicking and screaming
I want to know that my heart's still beating
It's beating,
I'm bleeding
I want to wake up kicking and screaming
I want to live like I know what I'm leaving
I want to know that my heart's still beating
It's beating... it's beating...
I'm bleeding