My parents are coming this weekend along with my brother J.D. Their main reason for coming is to meet the little guy, but I am glad to see my family. In addition to that, I convinced dad to preach this weekend. With my freedom from sermon preparation (with the exception of my lectionary blog) I am going to engage in some writing (see my new post on my short story blog) and catch up on some visitation (1/3 down).
I managed to overcome a strong anxiety to visit a parishioner today. It was a great visit. I knew if I just did it, that it would be difficult but rewarding. Lord help me to be disciplined in the face of strong emotions like fear, anxiety and saddness. How I need you!
I sure hope this is a productive week. I need to create a director's book for the chistmas play I am directing for the community theatre and it would be nice to get a jump on a few sermons. It will still be full even though my main responsibility for the week will dad's. If anyone has any thoughts on this weeks lectionary, help me out with some comments!
Monday, October 25, 2004
Thursday, October 14, 2004
Labyrinth
At ministerial today we had an exciting discussion about labyrinths. I have tried meditating with an online labyrinth, so I was cuirous if any of the guys had experiene with the real thing. Turns out there will be a mobile prayer labyrinth at a local high school November 10th. I can't wait.
Chuck shared his experience praying through a labyrinth that took him three and half hours. Cliff said that at a convent he went to in south Michigan the labyrinth had stones that marked the place for the nuns who found they could go no further that day. Wow. The power of God meets the seeking mind.
Ah... The contemplative life.
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
Paper cups
I ran out of cone filters for my coffee machine, so I took one of the big wrap around squares for the percolator and folded it into a paper cup. I remember when I learned how to fold origami paper cups.
It was Sunday school, third grade I think. One of my friends had learned it in school and taught us. I remember this day not for coloring the inside of my cup, but for what happened after church.
There was a boy, who came to church that day, who we thought was strange, and dirty, and dressed funny. He didn’t belong. I didn’t belong either; I was the pastor’s kid fighting for acceptance after three years in the church. I treated this boy, coloring his cup, with an arrogant cruelty.
After the service my brother and I fought over who had to sit with him in the back seat. We didn’t hide our distain for this boy as we rode over dirt and tracks and miles of ground to a shack in the country.
Often I have looked back on this day, my heart torn apart. In every way this innocent boy was me and I hated him.
Today, it strikes me that dad must have been painfully disappointed in us that day. I would be disappointed if my kids acted like we did.
Before making my coffee this afternoon, I had my first meeting with my Spiritual Director. As he acted a Zozama and mirror to my soul, I found myself struggling with guilt and duty. Am I doing all that I should be as pastor? Am I living up to the great responsibility that I feel? How does my father feel about me today?
Lord I will listen for you. Are you proud or disappointed? Will you come to my aid?
It was Sunday school, third grade I think. One of my friends had learned it in school and taught us. I remember this day not for coloring the inside of my cup, but for what happened after church.
There was a boy, who came to church that day, who we thought was strange, and dirty, and dressed funny. He didn’t belong. I didn’t belong either; I was the pastor’s kid fighting for acceptance after three years in the church. I treated this boy, coloring his cup, with an arrogant cruelty.
After the service my brother and I fought over who had to sit with him in the back seat. We didn’t hide our distain for this boy as we rode over dirt and tracks and miles of ground to a shack in the country.
Often I have looked back on this day, my heart torn apart. In every way this innocent boy was me and I hated him.
Today, it strikes me that dad must have been painfully disappointed in us that day. I would be disappointed if my kids acted like we did.
Before making my coffee this afternoon, I had my first meeting with my Spiritual Director. As he acted a Zozama and mirror to my soul, I found myself struggling with guilt and duty. Am I doing all that I should be as pastor? Am I living up to the great responsibility that I feel? How does my father feel about me today?
Lord I will listen for you. Are you proud or disappointed? Will you come to my aid?
Saturday, October 09, 2004
Fire
I went to the church today, in thought and prayer I built a fire in our fire pit. I wish that it was as easy to tend the Consuming Fire in the Church. There was a chunk of old pew, underneath was a tremendous heat. When I stirred it, the energy spread.
I imagined that was me, sitting on the coals of The Presence. What gets in the way of my discipline? I am good at talking my theories and values, but do I rely on them to supliment for lack of discipline and the presence?
God! Stir me up. Stir us all up!
I imagined that was me, sitting on the coals of The Presence. What gets in the way of my discipline? I am good at talking my theories and values, but do I rely on them to supliment for lack of discipline and the presence?
God! Stir me up. Stir us all up!
Friday, October 08, 2004
The Joy's of Blogging
I'm so giddy today-my new lectionary blog was picked up at textweek.com. My thanks to Jenee Woodard for her faithfulness to that site. Her work has been invaluable to me since I decided to try my hand at preaching the lectionary months ago.
I have three blogs now! What joy... they give me a place to organize my thoughts. They give me motivation and discipline. Stakes are higher when I think somebody might by reading. I have been into journaling for years, but used to find that there would be month long gaps-not so here.
The blogosphere has turned out to be a great place to put myself and let God's grace move on me. As I read--as I write, He is here. I can look back, as I often do with my college ruled notebooks and see the journey, and weep at the beautiful plot.
I have three blogs now! What joy... they give me a place to organize my thoughts. They give me motivation and discipline. Stakes are higher when I think somebody might by reading. I have been into journaling for years, but used to find that there would be month long gaps-not so here.
The blogosphere has turned out to be a great place to put myself and let God's grace move on me. As I read--as I write, He is here. I can look back, as I often do with my college ruled notebooks and see the journey, and weep at the beautiful plot.
Thursday, October 07, 2004
Lectionary blog
If you are interested in my thoughts on the RCL text for the week, I have decided to start a lectionary blog and will be posting those ideas over there. Come on over with me if you'd like...
Monday, October 04, 2004
William Blake--Infant Joy
William Blake Infant Joy:
Tory read this poem on the DVD my family sent us. It has been in my mind much this last week of infant joy.
We took Foster to the hospital for blood work again today. Friday we took him because of his jaundice to check his bilirubin levels. They are aproaching normal now. :)
This of course reminded me how much obsessive joy I took in saying bilirubin two years ago when Ella went through the same tests. It has inspired me to make Billie-Reuben sandwiches.
Imagine this for a modified Reuben, a toasted piece of swirled rye, mayo, lettuce, Swiss, peppered corned beef, more Swiss, sliced cukes, sprouts, maybe even more Swiss, honey mustard and a swirled rye lid. A Billie-Reuben.
"'I have no name;
I am but two days old.'
What shall I call thee?
'I happy am,
Joy is my name.'
Sweet joy befall thee!
Pretty joy!
Sweet joy, but two days old.
Sweet Joy I call thee:
Thou dost smile,
I sing the while;
Sweet joy befall thee! "
Tory read this poem on the DVD my family sent us. It has been in my mind much this last week of infant joy.
We took Foster to the hospital for blood work again today. Friday we took him because of his jaundice to check his bilirubin levels. They are aproaching normal now. :)
This of course reminded me how much obsessive joy I took in saying bilirubin two years ago when Ella went through the same tests. It has inspired me to make Billie-Reuben sandwiches.
Imagine this for a modified Reuben, a toasted piece of swirled rye, mayo, lettuce, Swiss, peppered corned beef, more Swiss, sliced cukes, sprouts, maybe even more Swiss, honey mustard and a swirled rye lid. A Billie-Reuben.
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