disconnect

Spiritual Direction is kicking my butt. I never thought just talking about where God is taking me would drive me so deeply to discipline. After our conversation, my director picks something for me to sit with, to listen. It is not like being held accountable for my devotional life, and it's not that this month between meetings with my spiritual director has been marked by unusual discipline, but rather I see how dear those times are to me, and how much opportunity has passed me by.

The last couple weeks my blog entries have been sparse. There were times when journaling that I would see gaps a month long. I don't know what was going on during those times. This last couple of weeks though has been a time of desolation. I haven't sat to listen to God, or at least, when I have, I haven't heard well. What I have received applied to my sermon, but was not quick to engage my own heart (?) so that it appeared in my lectionary writings rather than here. Yet, I love him. Yet, I worship him. Yet, I yearn for his Glory.

Lord, I long for your consolation, but do not begrudge this time of growth. Strengthen me, discipline me, and bring my life, my space, my time, and my responsibility into line with your whispers. Thank you.