Over the last few weeks I have prayed for over 30 healings. So far we haven’t seen any results. The process of experimentation has done much in my soul. I feel frustrated that we haven’t seen a break through yet.
Elaine was feeling the pain of a sore throat coming on last night. Half joking she chided, “Why can’t you heal anybody?!”
“I don’t know!” I cried. Why doesn’t God answer? Didn’t he promise to? I stand even more amazed that John Wimber held out for so many months making healing ministry part of his services. I feel like I could throw in the towel. It takes such an investment and risk to make healing prayer a centerpiece of ministry when there are no results to point to.
One Sunday Morning I was praying for Don, he has hurt his hip and leg and has to use a walker until therapy pays off. We were praying fervently for him. I was standing over his shoulder as he sat at the end of a pew. I on hand his hand that was on his knee and my other hand, holding the bottle of anointing oil, was on his head. As we were winding up our prayer, Elaine saw a black circle roll across the floor and then Don reached up wiping something from his nose. The anointing oil was running down his head. Psalm 133:2 says:
“It is like precious oil poured on the head,
running down on the beard,
running down on Aaron's beard,
down upon the collar of his robes.”
Yeah, it was just like that. And even after the excess of anointing he wasn’t healed! If there was ever a time for someone to be healed, this was it! I apologized profusely and we have had a great laugh about it since.
The frustration has worked like a prayer of examen. I am on the search for blocks in my life that keep God from using me.
“Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting” (Psalm 139:23-24 NIV).
Even with my renewed emphasis lately on healing ministry, I feel like I’m only going half way. I am still a little hesitant to spend a lot of time, perhaps the time it takes, to pray over a person. I still feel hesitant about taking authority, and I still have no experience with deliverance ministry, though there are some people I know who could sure use it!
All said, I have just started on this journey of healing exploration. I will not throw in the towel, God, if you will just tell me where to go from here. I long to see you move and people are so broken. I know you love them and want to move. I want to see what your ministry looks like, we’ve both
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