Suffering

Deep calls to deep. I feel trapped in the foam by my fluffy gentle experiences. Cut me quick. So oft' the self same self-not comes to me. Let me suffer, not to feel pain, but to be baptized into the death of Mankind. A death I haven't known, knowing only your life - a death you conquered. It is wrong. Wrong for any living person to experience only life while there are dead men walking around. To touch these men is to touch death - to die. Let me truly know I'm alive - feeling the pangs of death. What hard words this self-not is.

Psalm 119 Heth

A Meditation on Psalm 119:57-64

Daddy, for my inheritance I do not ask for riches or wealth. I don't ask for health or prosperity. My reward is you. Let me see your face. I run after it down the path your voice has laid out. Even though I may be poor and looked down on, your word is all I want! I'll get up from my sleep and in the dark hours just to give you thanks. Your word is everything to me. My heart is enlarged for all who look to it. The whole world hears your voice and all the universe shakes at your glory.

X

Experiencing your word is my only care
you are my reward

Expecting you to speak
I turn and listen

Exposing my ear
I strain for your commands

Examined ways are changed
they turn at your slightest breathing

Expectation rises by the hour
your word is my dream

Exalting you at midnight
my love for your word steals my sleep

Expanse cannot contain my heart's longing
the words praising your loving letters

Psalm 119 Zayin

A Meditation on Psalm 119:49-56

At sunrise and sunset your voice calls me to the table. Every day you draw me to the pasture of your word. There is hope there. There is peace in that place. All around is confused and changing. In your presence I long to stay. I am torn with the thought of those who ignore your voice... your reality. Your words are my song and sonnet. If I go to the meeting house you are there. If I go to the coffeehouse you are there. Every time I sit and meditate, wondering at your word. It's my routine, my comfort.

Z

Zebum, Zebum, the rhythm goes
your voice calls every morning

Zebum, Zebum, it comes again
at night I hear your comforting song

Zeglug, Zeglug, There is hope where you bring me
though all changes your word doesn't

Zeglug, Zeglug, Your heart beats to me your peace
though I am confused, your word isn't

Zing zang zebu, my heart breaks
people ignore your voice

Zing zang zip, your words are my song and sonnet
even though people don't know how real you are

Zip zalu along my path you're always there
in the meeting house and the coffeehouse

Zip zalu everywhere I sit and talk with you
it's my comfort, my routine

Love Language

God is love. He is the author of love as well. He speak several whole languages of love fluently, countless dialects. In finite frailty I find myself only able to speak a couple dialects clearly. When I hear my native tongue spoken I feel loved, secure and able to do amazing things for the one who loves me. My mother tongue happens to be quality time.

Lord, I realize I don't feel secure enough in you to trust you with my obedience. Its my fault. Forgive me. I haven't let you speak your love to me. Now I covenant with you, together lets experiment. I will spend quality time with you every day for four weeks and as you pour into me I think I will feel comfortable expressing my love to you in ways I don't know. Lets watch together and see if I can hear you better and act on your whispers as the time goes on. I love you Lord. Help me to show you how much.

Love you,
Chris.

Psalm 119 Waw

A Meditation On Psalm 119:41-48

Woo me Jesus. May the romance never die. Your love overflows in my heart like a hot spring. Sit across the table and lets talk. Don't pull your words off my tongue or I'll die. They last forever and as long as I can hold them on my tongue, I'll live forever and celebrate obedience. I dance in the freedom of your righteousness. I can testify in front of the Grand Poobahs of the world. I love you. I adore your words. I will relentlessly seek you and dream about your word.

W/V

Woo me Jesus
may our romance never die

Write your name on me
I trust you

Voice your love for me
like a hot spring in my soul

Watch my face with your word on my tongue
when its there I can live and obey forever

Waltzing in you freedom
of your righteousness

World leaders will be amazed
as I show them your words

Words of life sing to me
their song I love to hear

Wonder is mine as I think
I love your commands

Blind

Reflections on the Giver

I drink in the color of your love
The gift of Beauty you have made my soul
Blind - darkness is the soul's killer
You are light in my closed eyes
Aimlessly they wander
They know nothing, see nothing, die.
Startling. Blazing. Painful. Colorful.
You came

And died

For light

Dreams

I can dream vast worlds apart
I can dream power and glory and warmth
I can dream to the highest heaven
I can dream and flail and fall

You can dream vast worlds - they form
You can dream and every image reigns all glory
You can dream the tiniest atom
You can dream and save a soul

Your dreams are the tissue and sinew of creativity
My dreams are creature crying to be like creator
Your dreams are wonder and adventure to me
Dream your dreams in my head

Psalm 119 Hei

A Meditation on Psalm 119:33-40

Lord, let me hear your voice! If I only knew your desires, I would run to do them. I'm lost. I don't understand where you are taking me. Lead me, let me see down the path your eyes have laid out for me. Turn my heart to your word again. Lord, I am tired of doing things that don't mater. Let hear your word so I can serve you. Powerfully coerce me. Teach me to fear you as you decieve me. Let my footsteps fall only in the whisper of your word.

H

Hearing your voice is my coffee
it warms my insides and gives me life!

Hand my your words on burlap
and I will run to consume

His! I scream to the clouds
I'm His and His word I'll obey

Hold my feet on the path of your words
so I wont fly into space

Heart Beat - every pulse loves your word
with purple smoke pushing me to serve

Hep cats will fear you when they see what you've done
the way you lead me.

Hand me the rope tied to the bumper of your will
put it in drive and go!

Hear my devotion
slay me with your love!